THAT MISERABLE, sour-faced, professional moaner Glafkos Hadjiklamouris, leader of the public parasites, was back in our lives this week. He had kept an unusually low profile for well over a year, neither being seen nor heard, a sign that God exists and had taken pity on us.
Another show of God’s mercy was that on his return to the spotlight he was a man transformed – he was not moaning, making threats or crying about alleged injustices suffered by the parasites – but wearing a smile and exhibiting a spirit of co-operation that most of us thought was beyond him.
Some of us suspected that he had been kidnapped by members of the Limassol underworld, on the instructions of the Troika, tortured and force-fed mind-altering drugs that de-activated the part of his brain that made him a miserable and money-grabbing individual. It may have been decided that this was the only way to ensure against another state bankruptcy.
On Monday, Hadjimourmouris and finance minister Haris signed a collective agreement by which there would be no general pay rises for public parasites this year and the next (they still received the annual wage increments). He also agreed that the annual increase in the public payroll in the future would not exceed the increase in the rate of growth of GDP, a provision that was included in the public service reform bills rejected by the parties last year.
After the signing of the deal, a beaming, smiling Hadjiharoumenos declared “the agreement was a product of social dialogue and this satisfies us absolutely”. He also voiced his full support for the government’s reform proposals as they would lead to “the improvement of the performance of the state machine”.
When the Pasydy chief talks about his parasites improving performance – code for doing some work – it is obvious he is not himself.
THE NEW persona has sent shock-waves across the world of public parasites, with other unions protesting that Hadjiharoumenos has sold out. These unions help the Pasydy chief look almost like a reasonable human being while reminding us that many parasites will never agree to ration their blood-sucking.
The nurses’ union Pasyno, which among other things wants its staff to be paid graduates’ salaries because its members now get a nursing degree, announced that it was not bound by Monday’s agreement and was consulting it legal advisor about the possibility of taking measures against the government. It has also asked for a meeting with Haris.
The unions representing the super-parasites – our mega-lazy teachers, fearing they might not get pay-rises made it clear that it was “not possible” for the agreement to apply to them. They want general pay-rises on top of the wage increments they are receiving this year because their laziness cannot go unrewarded for a fourth year running, as they would lose their motivation to be crap teachers.
THE MILITANT parasites’ union Asdyk – a rival of Pasydy with a very small membership – slammed the agreement which “does not satisfy in the least all that is owed by the state to the workers for the deprivations it had imposed on them for the last six years.”
Assdick insisted that apart from the annual increments “there was room also for general pay rises, in other words a return of part of what had in the last five years been cut from the wages of the workers of the public sector.” It accused Pasydy of “accepting through the agreement the perpetuation of a blatant and fraught injustice”.
Like Pasyno, it promised to consult its legal advisors on how to ensure the perpetuation of its members’ just, parasitic privileges and blood-sucking rights.
TRICKY RICKY cut a sad and forlorn figure as the three judges took turns to read their decision in the corruption case involving the former deputy AG, two lawyers and law office, which lasted longer than a Fidel Castro speech. It took close to eight hours to complete, but most of the packed court-room remained awake to the end.
This was the case in which Prez Nik appeared and was the only defence witness deemed trustworthy by the judges. In contrast, all prosecution witnesses were deemed trustworthy except Akel prima donna Irini Charalambidou in whose testimony the judges found “the existence of hostility and a tendency to sensationalise in her description of events”.
Poor old Ricky has lost his legendary cockiness and brashness, but he had only himself to blame for what has happened to him. The super-cocky Tricky Ricky may have still been deputy AG today, engaging in the corrupt activities and the abuse of power the court found him guilty of, if he had not insisted that Central Bank governor Crystal was investigated for allegations she supposedly made against him.
CRYSTAL had allegedly accused Ricky of having been bribed by lawyer Panayiotis Neocleous in front of directors of the Central Bank, one of whom, Stelios Kiliaris (a Diko placeman) spilled the beans in the legislature.
This was part of a plan to get Crystal to resign and many politicians demanded her removal as Central Bank chief after Kiliaris’ revelations. None of the parties thought that the man at the centre of the allegations should resign.
Even after Crystal issued a denial, Ricky felt so offended by her claim, he insisted there was a police investigation against her. He also urged the police to investigate him, as he was clean and had nothing to fear.
The problem was that AG Costas Clerides, who did not get on with his deputy, called Ricky’s bluff and ordered an investigation into the allegations Crystal said she never made. Ricky was not so tricky after all, as he dug his own grave and not even the intervention of his friend Prez Nik could save him. Now all he can do is hope that the judges will show clemency and not put him inside for too long.
Crystal meanwhile remains governor and nobody is demanding her resignation now.
WHILE several pro-partition parties have been calling for the removal of Espen Barth Eide as the UNSG’s special advisor because he is pro-Turkish, Phil stumbled upon a much more imaginative way to argue this case.
On Tuesday it carried a story about how the government of Norway had blocked the purchase of military equipment by the National Guard by refusing to issue an export licence to the Norwegian manufacturer. Our defence ministry had protested to the Norwegian government, while political circles attribute the decision to developments in the Cyprus talks, said Phil.
On Thursday the paper carried another report about the matter, dropping in Eide’s name and subtly implying that he may have had something to do with the decision. Finally on Friday one of Phil’s patriotic columnists made the connection. It was laughable to suggest Norway’s government was adhering to a law that prevented the sale of military equipment to countries in conflict, he wrote.
“It is obvious that the problem did not arise because of strict adherence to Norwegian law, but because a Norwegian moved in this direction.” For those who did not guess who the Norwegian was, a sub-heading in the article spells it out: “Eide is rendered dangerous for the security of our country.” And this is a much more convincing reason to demand his removal by the UN, because all UN Special Advisors are pro-Turkish; it is a requirement for the job.
AKEL deputy and press spokesman Stefanos Stefanou, led a couple of dozen of the party’s professional protesters to the Ukraine embassy in Nicosia on Tuesday to protest against plans in Kiev to ban the country’s communist party. The bill for the ban was scheduled to have been discussed in parliament on that day, but was put back a week.
The protesters had a megaphone to shout support for their Ukrainian comrades and condemn the fascistic bill, but were pretty well-behaved. Nothing was thrown at the building as this was not the US embassy. Stef-Stef even accepted an invitation to go inside and have a private chat with the ambassador.
In press reports little was said about the reason why the Ukraine government prepared a bill outlawing the communist party. Apparently the party openly supports the Russian government and Vladimir Putin, despite Russia’s annexation of Crimea and arming of the rebels that are fighting against the government forces in eastern Ukraine.
How would we have reacted if two years after the Turkish invasion one of our political parties was praising Turkey’s occupation of the north and praising PM Ecevit? Akel is so democratic that it wants the Ukraine to respect the party that supports Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and annexation of Crimea.
SPEAKING of principled mother Russia, Phil took great exception to an article published in the New York Times referring to Russian meddling in the settlement talks. It accused The NY Times of seeing “Russian ghosts” while in a special column responding to the article its chief political writer Costas Venizelos laughed at the idea that Russia was causing problems in the peace procedure. He also claimed the article was libelous. Was this because the report had referred to Phil as a “pro-Russian paper”? If it were not, it would not have felt obliged to write a response to the article. The best bit however is Venielos’ desire to “learn who is hiding behind it (article)”, because it was clearly part of a conspiracy against Russia and not the work of the journalist who wrote it. I can inform him now it is the Illuminati.
WHO WOULD have thought that the fascists of Elam would have taken a leading role among the rejectionist parties so soon after entering parliament? On Friday our legislature voted in favour of an Elam proposal for schools to mark the January 1950 referendum on enosis.
The proposal was passed with the votes of the all the rejectionist parties (Akel voted against and Disy abstained), not because they wanted to honour the referendum but in the hope this could piss off the Turkish Cypriots and help undermine the talks.
They made the right call because Mustafa Akinci, immediately responded, describing the decision “unacceptable”, and arguing that it gave the impression that enosis was still on the agenda. He should have realised that the only reason the rejectionists backed the proposal was to elicit a reaction from the Turkish Cypriots and not have obliged.
He will get over it, but we should not. We should start to worry when the fascists start to dictate what events our public schools should honour and nobody is resisting.
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