Cyprus Mail
Letters

Darwin clearly didn’t figure Cyprus into his theory

The theory of evolution has been proven wrong by a tiny island. Charles Darwin, the world famous naturalist and geologist most celebrated for his theories on  evolution and of course his famed‘ On the Origin of Species‘  stated that in nature only the strongest and smartest survive.

Enter the people of Cyprus.

Darwin must have missed something here; because as I drive through Limassol, I cannot see how we have evolved in any way. It’s almost as if we are still in the Neolithic times that Cyprus is so famous for. How is it that an island which has been inhabited for nearly 10’000 years is still trying to catch up to countries that are barely 200 years old? How is it that the rest of Europe has been trained to stop at red lights and stop signs, and we are still coming to understand how the wheel works?

This is down to indifference, not stupidity. Cypriots as we all know are intelligent and knowledgeable creatures with ample amounts of creativity. But this intelligence is kept limited by the people that we have elected to govern us. You can see it all around you in everyday life – the big shot with a €70,000 Porsche Cayenne who couldn’t spare the extra four euros for a hands free, the moustached cab driver smoking a cigarette who doesn’t need to signal before he turns because we should all know where he is going, or my personal favourite, the guy who slowly creeps into the middle of an intersection while the light is still red. Why do they do these things you ask? The answer is simple… no punishment/enforcement.

The police in Cyprus are too busy dealing with other really important things that matter, and they have adopted a Darwinistic approach to regulating traffic. They believe that eventually the strongest and smartest will survive on the roads of Cyprus, allowing the drivers free will to ‘kill or be killed’. But who are we to judge? Since I have seen numerous police officers on several occasions slowing down and not stopping at stop signs, talking on their mobile while driving, and the list goes on.

Oh yeah… I saw a tractor on the highway… not a big, fast tractor with indicator lights, but an old decaying tractor that was once purchased to replace a donkey. It was being driven by a man who I can only imagine was named Panicos or Onoufrios and was clearly mad at the world for allowing fast moving cars to be driven on what he believed was a road for his farm.

Where will we draw the line? How many lives have to be given up before the police start doing something about the situation on Cyprus’ roads?

In light of the above observations I am happy to suggest a traffic enforcement incentive to get the police working again. It could potentially make many police officers very rich (so they can invest their extra earnings into those kebab shops that they love frequenting).

The Police traffic incentive program:

For every driver caught doing any of the below offences, a fine and demerit will be handed out, as an incentive to the officer: 5% of the fine will be given to him / her as a bonus. (big smiles from the boys in blue)

Talking on mobile phone             €150.00                 2 demerit points

Failure to indicate                           €150.00                 2 demerit points

Failure to stop ( stop sign)           €150.00                 2 demerit points

Failure to stop                                  €150.00                 2 demerit points

Running a red light                         €500.00                 5 demerit points *just to spice things up

Driving under the influence       —           Automatic suspension of drivers licence for 3 months

(try getting around town with the terrible public transport)

 

At first this will be a cash cow for the traffic police as they will be making money hand over fist, but then… just when the police thought that they found a way to get rich quick something magical will happen…

CUE: David Attenborough voiceover

Evolution!!! The islanders have begun to realise that when they do not indicate before a turn they will have to exchange hard earned monetary currency for something that was avoidable with the flick of a switch.  Just as slowly as a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so too can a small island in the Mediterranean change its habits. Regardless of whether or not it’s been inhabited for 10’000 years.

Mr. Darwin, although the church thinks you’re a crazy person, I hope that we can one day realise this theory of evolution… If not we will have to settle for your alternative theory of adaptation.

Costandinos Christofi, via email

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