Cyprus Mail

Tales from the coffeeshop: Our old commies are back

Comrade Tof in silly hat was on the front-line of the protest against the imperialists outside the US embassy on Monday. The man on the right is not Karl Marx, although he looks just like him.

The communist jihadists of the Cold War era came out of semi-retirement last week, using the air strikes on Syria by ‘Nato’s imperialist forces’ as an excuse for a couple of good-old fashioned, anti-West demonstrations and to show us that the Soviet brainwashing they underwent all those decades ago is irreversible.

Last Sunday we found out that the Communist Party of Greece (KKE) has a branch in Kyproulla, its proud Stalinist members demonstrating against the air-strikes outside the British base at Akrotiri, which was ‘the staging post of death’.

The commie jihadists accused Nik’s government of ‘actively participating… having an upgraded role in the new crime of the imperialists’, by allowing the use of the base. It had ‘involved the country more deeply in this massacre by the monopolies that want to get their hands on the wealth of our region and backs without shame the choices of the European imperialists’.

Greece’s communists have never forgiven the Yanks and the Brits for helping the nationalist forces defeat them after World War II and thus preventing the country from falling into Stalin’s hands, in which it would have become a socialist paradise like Albania or Bulgaria.


The demonstration did not get a mention in Kyproulla’s commie paper Haravghi, even though its front page headline on Monday was ‘Outcry against the bloodshed in Syria’. The story reported that ‘pacifists from all over the world were out on the streets condemning, with abhorrence, the criminal raid on Syria and demanding world peace.’

There was not a word about the outcry of its comrade pacifists from KKE outside Akrotiri. Instead, the paper called on the Akel flock to attend the protest outside the US embassy, referred to as the ‘embassy of death’ by Kyproulla’s progressive Stalinists, on Monday afternoon.

The demo was being organised by the ridiculous Akelite organisation the Pancyprian Council of Peace, which was set up during the Cold War as a ‘neutral’ vehicle for Soviet propaganda against the ‘forces of imperialism’ and the ‘murderers of Nato’. A couple of hundred professional Akelite protesters showed up for the demonstration, at which the satellite organisation of Akel, the Pancyprian Federation of Democratic Women was also represented.

Funny how the Pancyprian Council of Peace, KKE, Akel and its Democratic Women decided it was time for peace only when the US, Britain and France launched air strikes on Syria, that cost zero lives. While Bashar al Assad’s army and Russian fighter jets were bombing towns out of existence, causing thousands of deaths, there was no outcry against the bloodshed and destruction from these uncompromising pacifists.


Another great pacifist decided to take a stand against the air-strikes. Comrade Tof not only attended the demo at the US embassy, wearing a silly hat that added to his gravitas, but he also issued a 1,000-word statement lamenting the demise of the Soviet Union and lambasting the imperialists.

“The dissolution of the Soviet Union that constitutes a crime against humanity, turned the world upside down,” he said, adding that because the balance of terror was lost and we were left with the terror. “The imperialists considered and still consider that the field was left open so that, undisturbed, they could sow death and reap souls at all lengths and breadths of the planet.”

It seems bit stupid to attack the imperialists of the West while claiming Soviet imperialism, which kept half the states of Europe enslaved, was a force for good and its demise was a crime against humanity. But what you would expect from a Soviet jihadist like Tof, who has now transferred his allegiances from the KGB to the FSB.

Leaving aside the analysis of world politics, by far the most insightful comment in his embarrassingly simplistic diatribe was that when Makarios fled to London in July 1974, after the coup, ‘the then President of Syria Hafez al Assad, that is the father of today’s president of Syria, gave President Makarios $100,000 for his immediate economic needs’.

Can there be a more compelling argument for us backing the Assad regime? I think not.


Given the generosity and kindness of the Assad regime it is highly unlikely that our government will follow the example of France which, according to Reuters, has begun the process of stripping Bashar al-Assad of his Legion of Honour award, the country’s highest distinction.

When Tof was our president, apart from pandering to Bashar he also awarded him with our country’s highest distinction – the Grand Collar of Makarios III. It was his way of saying thank-you, for the hundred thousand bucks Bashar’s kindly dad gave to Mak in his hour of need, and not because our commies have great respect for dictators.

It was very surprising that Haravghi, did not report a word of comrade Tof’s anti-imperialist diatribe and made sure he was not featured in the photos it published of the US embassy demo. Has the Akel Central Committee decided the man is such an embarrassment for the party it is no longer prepared to acknowledge his existence?


Foreign minister Nicos Christodoulides displayed all his Dalai Lama qualities during the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting in London last week and also found yet another ‘significant role’ for Kyproulla in international relations.

He told Tass News agency there were ‘significant bilateral meetings’, and cited the one he had with the foreign minister of Singapore ‘with which commercial and economic relations could be developed’. There were grander plans than this. According to the Dalai Lama, for the Cyprus Republic and Malta, bearing in mind that Britain will be leaving the EU, there is an additional significant role to play.

“For some time now, the Cyprus Republic, has undertaken the initiative, so that the Commonwealth and the EU move closer,” he said and explained: “There are issues of common interest, there are issues on which there could be common approaches and within this framework the Cyprus Republic can play a significant role.”

The significant roles of the Cyprus Republic on the world political stage have grown geometrically since the Dalai Lama became foreign minister. And now, with the help of fellow midget country Malta, he will bring the EU and the Commonwealth closer together, something that Britain failed to do in the years of its membership of the EU.


A significant role the Dalai Lama never mentions is the one he has given to his wife Philippa, whom he appointed assistant director of the president’s diplomatic office. This was a position he held when he was government spokesman, but he could not appoint his wife as his successor because she was not high enough in the foreign ministry’s hierarchy for such a position.

Kyriacos Kouros, the head of Kyp, who has the rank of ambassador, was appointed director and Mrs Dalai Lama was made his deputy. Kouros, who has his hands full running the secret service, will be nominally in charge, but the foreign minister’s missus has the significant role of running the office. As one of our palace moles informed us, ‘Mrs Dalai Lama will act as Prez Nik’s Sherpa’, a role that her husband felt had to be kept in the family when he left to become foreign minister.

As assistant director of the diplomatic office Mrs Dalai Lama has been given powers she should never have. The Cyprus Chamber of Commerce recently called the foreign ministry to ask for guidance on certain issues it was discussing with the Turkish Cypriot chamber and it was told to speak to Mrs Dalai Lama. Not with her boss Kouros, not with the perm sec of the foreign ministry, but with Mrs foreign minister.


As we predicted last week, the Mustafa-Nik dinner on Monday proved a colossal waste of time, our prez failing to persuade his former buddy to agree to a new round of never-ending peace talks that would give the impression that he was interested in a Cyprob settlement.

Hacks tried to offer a ray of hope by reporting the UNSG would consider sending a special envoy to try to bridge the differences of the two sides, but it was nothing more than wishful thinking. The UNSG’s spokesman in New York, asked about this possibility, reminded us that Antonio Guterres said his good offices mission would be at the disposal of the two leaders when they were ready to engage in peace talks. As neither was ready, there would be no special envoy.

Prez Nik is so desperate for there to be some movement on the Cyprob that during his meeting with the British PM Theresa May in London he asked Britain, according to the government spokesman, to play its part in helping the resumption of the Cyprus talks.

How things have changed. In the past, whenever the Brits undertook a Cyprob initiative all the brash patriots were accusing them of wanting to close the Cyprob, of setting traps for the Greek Cypriots and of helping the Turks. Now Nik wants Britain to work for the resumption of the talks so he can carry on the theatre that he is interested in a settlement.


Of course he could always blame the Turkish side for the lack of movement on the Cyprob as Phil has already done. “The early elections in Turkey have subverted UN plans for the Cyprus problem,” it reported on Friday. “According to diplomatic circles at the UN headquarters, Antonio Guterres will be more reluctant to proceed with any actions.”

It is the Turkish elections that prevented Guterres appointing a special envoy and ordering the start of a new UN-sponsored peace drive. The paper ignored the fact that Guterres’ spokesman ruled out a new initiative a day before the Turkish president decided to call elections, but who cares. Our side was, is and always will be ready for talks, as long as they never have to be completed.


If only the farce of the Cyprus Cooperative Bank (CCB) could follow the example of the Cyprob and never reach an end date. This would have enormously pleased the Finance Minister Harris Georgiades, who is realising that we are fast approaching the final act.

Some banks have already expressed an interest in taking over the healthy operations of the CCB, which would mean the state would be left with the €6.2 billion NPLs, which it would be lucky to recover 10 per cent of. Harris knew he sounded ridiculous, making the assertion last Tuesday that ‘in every case it should be understood that no loan would be written off’.

What is the likelihood of any loan being paid back to a state-owned bad bank? Even if the bank tried to repossess properties, the defaulters would run to the parties to protest that their house or business premises are being taken away from them and the bank would be ordered by Prez Nik to back off.

There will also be another small problem for the government. The CCB currently employs 2,600 people that no bank will be willing to take on, as they are already over-staffed. So apart from being stuck with €6.2 billion in NPLs the state will also have 2,600 employees it will not want to sack.


Two firsts for Paphos were reported in the last week that may be related. The Paphos Co-op Bank had the highest percentage of NPLs islandwide – 80 per cent. It also recorded the most arrests for positive narco-tests in Kyproulla. Is it possible that Paphites were not repaying their loans to the co-op because many of them were stoned and kept forgetting?

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