Cyprus Mail
Opinion Tales from the Coffeeshop

Tales from the Coffeeshop: Projecting the whole truth and not the pseudo truth

There are 425 plots along the coast on which hotels and other tourism infrastructure and units are built

“THE MAN was being treated in a pseudo-hospital,” reported a radio news bulletin of our state broadcaster Rik, in reference to some story it was reporting. A person who heard it could not believe the stupidity of the term and posted it on Facebook, inspiring an assortment of comments.

Rik is a voice of patriotic correctness. Its reports about anything a Turkish government official says use the adjective ‘provocative’ to describe his words even when he is talking about the weather and any visit to the occupied area by a member of Turkey’s government is labelled ‘illegal’.

In the case of the ‘pseudo-hospital’ news bosses eventually acknowledged the colossal stupidity of the term and on the next news bulletin the hospital lost its ‘pseudo’ tag, even though there was a danger this could lead to the upgrading of the pseudo-state and downgrading for the Republic.

On the thread of comments most people mocked this absurdity, even though the patriotic camp had an alternative explanation. Patriarch of patriotism Lazaros Mavros felt Rik resorted to this term because “conscience and the professional ethics about the truth of words is not sharpened to refer to the hospital in the Greek territories of Cyprus enslaved by Attila.”

A woman who said she agreed with Lazaros felt Rik should have referred to the “illegal hospital of the pseudo-state,” and she bemoaned the failure of journalists and politicians to use “the correct words that project the whole truth.”


UNDER the circumstances, I was deeply disappointed that nobody referred to the renegade Russian priest Alexei Ivanov who carries out illegal services in two Greek Orthodox churches in the pseudo-state without the permission of our Church, as a pseudo-priest.

Why were all the hacks who covered the story afraid to use the correct words that project the whole truth about pseudo Father Alexei, who set up the illegal ‘Russian Orthodox Church of North Cyprus’ that is recognised by no-one? Were they all afraid to publicly show disrespect to a man of God in case they incurred the wrath of the Almighty, who may not be aware of the details of the Cyprob?

Even Phil that took great pride in breaking this earth-shattering story avoided the standard patriotic vocabulary it uses for all reports from the occupied north. The pseudo-priest’s actions were not provocative or illegal, even though he had not been anointed a priest by the Russian Orthodox Church, but by the Russian Orthodox Bishop of New York and east America, Agathangelos.

Perhaps Phil did not want to be too hard on the Church of Mother Russia despite the many disappointments it had inflicted on its loyal subjects of Kyproulla recently, selling missiles to the Turks, building a nuclear power station in Turkey, offering to cooperate with the Turks on gas exploration etc.

At this rate it may soon abandon its principled stand on the Cyprob as well, and what will Phil say then?


THE QUESTION that has gone unanswered and we expect some guidance from Rik, Phil or even Lazaros about is whether the two Greek Orthodox churches in the Kyrenia district that have been usurped by the unrecognised Russian Orthodox Church of North Cyprus refurbished and reopened without authorisation by our Church and in which services are conducted are illegal or pseudo-churches?

The Russian faithful that paid for their refurbishment and attend the services conducted by the pseudo-Father Alexei in the churches have a right to know. Are they being subjected to pseudo holy services, like the pseudo treatment given to the patient in the pseudo hospital or should they feel that their worship is not going to waste?

Our foreign ministry, which is very sensitive to anything that might upgrade the pseudo-state, has avoided taking a stand on the matter, a fact censured by Phil in one of its articles. Perhaps this is because our God-fearing foreign minister is on holiday or he is waiting for some sign from above about what to do.

Our government could issue arrest warrants against all those attending the illegal services by the pseudo priest.


STAYING on religious matters, the Bishop of Morphou Neophytos, has hit back at his critics by posting a letter of support for his ludicrous view about the cause of homosexuality on the bishopric’s website. The letter, supposedly signed by 38 academics/scientists (one of them had been included without being asked), was taken from an ultra-nationalist, fundamentalist Orthodox blog.

“The Bishop of Morphou gave a possible, scientific explanation of homosexuality without offending individuals,” the letter of support said. Could he have been more offensive to the mothers of homosexuals than he was with his scientific explanation about them enjoying anal sex while pregnant? I suspect most of the alleged signatories did not know what he said.

Another weird thing was that on the Trelloyiannis blog, the letter was endorsed by 38 named academics and scientists. The letter posted on bishopric’s website and credited to the blog had 71 signatories. The doubling of the number of signatories must have been a miracle, but not as big a miracle as the discovery of 71 university-educated people that endorse Neophytos’ nonsense.

Prez Nik has gained the support of land and building developers

PREZ NIK could not have been a happy bunny about the way the report carried by the OCCRP (Organised Crime and Corruption Reporting Project) linking his law office, while he was in charge, to companies involved in money laundering played out.

His response, delivered by government spokesman Prodromos Prodromou last weekend, not only failed to put the matter to rest but gave the OCCRP the opportunity to hit back by accusing it of making libellous claims. The Project insisted that all its claims could be substantiated and on Thursday posted documents to back its claims.

Earlier in the week, Prodromou’s lame diversionary tactic – blaming the interior minister of the Akel government Neoklis Sylikiotis for granting citizenship to Anastasiades’ billionaire client Alexander Abaramov – also backfired. A government that grants citizenships to rich individuals on an industrial scale cannot take the moral high ground and much less so, when the citizenship was granted to a client of Nik’s office.

The Sylikiotis angle was quickly dropped by the government but it increased the resolve of Akelites to keep the matter alive which they have done quite effectively, demanding Nik restore the reputation of Kyproulla which the OCCRP was trying to taint.


BLAMING the evil foreigner hell-bent on causing harm to poor innocent Kyproulla was Nik’s initial line of defence. It was not very original, most of his predecessors having also used it in the past when the chips were down. Last weekend Prodromou said the Prez was “saddened because, one more time he was being targeted as was Cyprus with a libellous article.” The message was clear – when foreigners target our Prez and his law office they are targeting all of us. Prez Nik is Kyproulla.


THE CYPRUS Land and Building Developers Association issued a statement to defend Nik and his golden passports scheme after the OCCRP report, which could threaten “an important tool for the development and strengthening of the Cyprus economy.” The announcement said little about the OCCRP report but waxed lyrical about the benefits of the citizenship by investment scheme.

The vice president of the Building Developers Association is a certain Yiannis Misirlis, son-in-law of the Prez and developer who has become a very wealthy man thanks to the citizenship by investment scheme, which “attracts to Cyprus businessmen of international standing, the presence of whom contributes and strengthens significantly the effort made by our country to establish itself as an international business centre.”

The way all land developers put the interests of the economy above their own is almost as touching as the purity of their loyalty (not just of the son-in-law) to Prez Nik.

The planned amphitheatre in Ayia Napa

WHEN Ayia Napa municipality announced a few months ago that it would work to become the European Capital of Culture in 2030, we thought they were joking. There are probably 100,000 towns in Europe more deserving of being given this title than Ayia Napa, which is a cultural Sahara and would have a stronger claim to being named European capital of No Culture as soon as next year.

Last week we found out how Napa municipality planned to get round the handicap of no culture. It would build an amphitheatre, the main feature of which will be the “panoramic view of the sea.” Mayor Yiannis Karousos said the amphitheatre “will be a cultural reference point, because thanks to the unique view it will attract tourists to admire it.” The culture is certain to follow.


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