Till the low battery tears us apart? Wherever we look, we are being told that our immediate future is going to be linked with robots. AI will take our jobs, replace us as drivers, teachers, artists – and even as partners! Bryony Cole, founder at Future of Sex, is battling these common misconceptions on daily basis, proving that sextech is going to enhance intimacy and connect humans on a deeper level.
On the occasion of the most romantic day of the year, we have asked her to enlighten us on what lies ahead in our bedrooms and romantic lives.
- Sure, tech can help us have better sex: do you think it can help us to be “better at love?”
Sextech is great at many enhancing areas of sexuality – certainly there are amazing tools to help us close the orgasm gap. When we think of intimacy though, it is not just about the physical experience, but the emotional one, the one people commonly associate with love. There are some sextech tools on the market which aim to help us become better at intimacy, better lovers. Apps like Lover, Bravi, Coral, Ferly are all designed to improve your understanding of how you love. Think of it as a light form of relationship therapy, without the hefty bill, or a meditation app, but for intimacy.
- In the future, will we need real humans to fulfil the craving for love and intimacy?
I believe we will always need real humans to fulfil our need for human connection. No matter how close technology gets to “the real thing” it is very hard for it to replicate what humans are best at, capabilities that rely on our innate sense of intuition, our mystery, spontaneity, and ability to use our imagination. When it comes to desire and attraction, research shows a little unpredictability goes a long way: as sex therapist Ian Kerner explains in his book Passionista, unpredictability spikes the brain’s natural amphetamines, dopamine and norepinephrine, which play a big role in sexual arousal. These creative, spontaneous parts of us that make us real to one another.
- Can you tell us about the most unique ways of sex tech actually boosting intimacy?
What makes you feel closer to someone? Is it a sense of touch, expressing a vulnerable story, discussing intellectual curiosity or having a shared experience. Technology can find ways to help all these dimensions of intimacy, through haptic experiences to transmit a lover’s heartbeat from miles away to products that allow us to have tough conversations. The most unique examples of sextech boosting intimacy are so many, but mostly because they prompt a conversation between lovers. Bringing up a potentially embarrassing topic about your sex life, such as painful sex, can feel really difficult. Having a fun product to talk about makes it easier to break the ice. Some of my favorite examples are Morari Medical’s wearable for PE and the OhNut for painful sex. Both of these technologies address a very difficult intimate issue with a large percentage of the population share. Just their existence makes it a lot easier to intimately share with a partner about your sex life and start a conversation.
- What are the craziest misconceptions about sex vs. technology you think need to be tackled?
People think technology has all the answers. Most of the sextech we need is inside our minds! The brain is our biggest sex organ. Most of us are just lazy. We want technology to do the job of efficiently providing us with pleasure. And more pleasure! However, if engaged, the brain can be the most powerful technology you ever possess. Activities like dirty talk or role play, allow us to have a multilayered sexual experience that extends further than just physical touch.
Meet Bryony Cole at Reflect Festival (www.reflectfest.com) this May 14-15 in Limassol. Celebrate love at Reflect. Visit Reflect Festival with your loved one through a special Valentine’s Day offer for you. Go to reflectfest.com and get 2 tickets for the price of one using the code LOVE.