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Tales from the Coffeeshop: Self-pity is the latest vote-winning technique

ΠτΔ – ΓΓ ΟΗΕ // por – sg un
UNSG, Antonio Guterres, probably fed up of Nik’s moaning, agreed to send Assistant General Secretary Rosemary di Carlo to Kyproulla on a fact-finding mission.

I ALMOST shed a tear reading the report of Nicos Christodoulides self-pitying speech at an election gathering in Polemidia, where he took on the role of the wronged victim of evil political forces and sought the audience’s sympathy for his suffering. It goes without saying that he was suffering for their sake in order to be able to serve them as president.

Every day, he said, he experienced “an organised attempt, by some, of my vilification and debunking, with the aim of hurting my personality and character, without limits, without any restrictions, beyond all bounds.” Sadly, he predicted that “this polemic, will not only continue, but will be stepped up, because the support for our candidacy keeps rising.”

At a gathering in Paphos, I was told he used biblical symbolism to illustrate his suffering, probably because he had a religious audience. He said he felt like the protomartyr Stefanos, who was being lynched and praying for the salvation of his attackers. Does the Yeroskipou martyr also pray for those hurting his personality, without limits?

Self-pity is the latest vote-winning technique deployed by Christodoulides, who is not embarrassed to behave like a big cry-baby as long as it wins him support.

 

WHAT A NERVE he has to whine about the attacks and play the victim, a few days after a social media operator he had enlisted to attack his political rivals and journalists, who were critical of his hot air politics and dishonesty, spilled the beans in an interview with Politis.

The self-proclaimed victim had ordered the operator, Manolis Kyriakou, whose services he was using for more than two years, to set up four fake accounts to attack his rivals. He even gave instructions to personally vilify hacks that criticised him, accusing them of being unethical or being on the take. My friend Dionysis was one of his targets as were Kyriakos Pierides and Panayiotis Tsangaris of Offsite, both of whom he accused of being on the take.

The attacks Christodoulides ordered to be carried out, were ethical because they were “with limits, with some restrictions, and within acceptable bounds of nastiness.” If there was an award for hypocrisy, there would only have been one winner, despite many worthy candidates.

You would have thought that being a devout churchgoer, Christodoulides would have known about the saying ‘let him without sin cast the first stone.’

 

TAKING the role of Mr Nice Guy, the chameleon-like Christodoulides, apologised to Tsangaris after the revelations, in a text message, thus confirming the veracity of Kyriakou’s accusations. Kyriakou’s accusations could not be denied as he had saved all the text exchanges with Mr Nice Guy and provided screen grabs.

Of course, his campaign spokesperson, Marilena Evangelou, was telling hacks, off the record, that Christodoulides had nothing to do with Kyriakou, had never paid him or asked him to attack rivals and everything Kyriakou had done was on his own initiative. On the record, however, all she was prepared to say about the story was ‘no comment.’

There could not have been a public denial of what Kyriakou said, as he had proof, which was why Christodoulides opted for the diversionary tactic of playing the victim.

 

KYRIAKOU made other fascinating revelations in his interview. When Christodoulides was still foreign minister, Kyriakou would post film clips of his client on social media in order to build his profile. He had told Kyriakou he would be standing for the presidency in August 2021, long before he was claiming he had not made up his mind.

Asked by the interviewer what he thought Christodoulides’ vision for Cyprus was, he said: “One and only – to be come president of the republic. He has no vision, he is vacuous of content, he is in reality just ‘catwalk’, superficiality.”

As regards the role of his family, Kyriakou said: “His election staff is a family affair. Cousins, uncles, in-laws, are in his staff. However I would have to mention the role of his wife. She is in charge to the point one could question whether she is actually the candidate for the presidency.”

 

A FEMALE presenter on Akel’s radio station, Astra, makes no attempt to conceal her pro-Russia bias, like her colleagues at CyBC do, when talking on the war in Ukraine. Listening to her you would think that Nato and the EU started the war, and that Putin was the victim.

On Thursday morning, the day after Putin had raised the possibility of using his nuclear arsenal, the presenter was more concerned about EU’s plans to impose new sanctions. And “our good EU” she said sarcastically, “wants to add fuel to the fire by imposing more sanctions.”

Having heard her anti-West rants on several occasions in the past, I found Thursday morning’s outburst rather funny, a confirmation of my scientific view that nothing, not even an act of God, could reverse the Akel mindset some are born with.

When I heard the Astra news, three hours later, the station’s lead story was that the EU would be adding fuel to the fire by imposing more sanctions on Russia. What should the EU have done to avoid Astra’s censure? Applauded Putin’s threat to use nuclear weapons, lifted the existing sanctions and offered him half of Ukraine?

 

RELATIONS with Mother Russia took another blow when Prez Nik cancelled his scheduled meeting with foreign minister Sergei Lavrov. Although the meeting had been arranged some time ago, Nik, reportedly, was following EU guidelines advising against bilateral meetings of member-states with Russia.

This meant he was unable to ask about Turkey’s claims that there would be direct flights from Moscow to the pseudo-state, starting from November. The Russian embassy in Nicosia denied this would happen, but if the assurances came from Maria Zakharova, they should be taken with a large pinch of salt, especially as we are becoming a less reliable as an ally.

Moscow will have an additional reason to be pissed off with Kyproulla, now that she has fallen into the arms of Uncle Sam, and was rewarded with the lifting of the arms embargo. The East Med Act would allow us to buy top of the range US arms that we cannot afford, but also oblige us to ban all Russian navy ships from our ports, even for refuelling.

Direct flights could be the punishment for our disloyalty, thus taking Russia’s principled stand on the Cyprob to another level.

 

INDEPENDENT candidates that contacted Phil to ask for exposure of their election campaign were shocked to be served with a price list. The small exposure package was 20 grand while the big one was 50 grand they were told.

Perhaps this was the paper’s way of avoiding having to cover all 12 candidates’ activities and declarations. The independents would not be prepared to pay and thus the paper would have an excuse for not covering their activities. Of the candidates with funds that are prepared to pay, I wonder if there is an item for ‘mega-positive exposure’ on the price list and what the cost of that is.

Some private television stations, meanwhile, reportedly charge candidates for appearances in their current affairs shows. Alpha TV has another condition for allowing candidates to appear on their shows – they make no criticism of Christodoulides, whose candidacy it is backing with all its might.

 

YOU HAD to admire Prez Nik’s chutzpah at the UN General Assembly where he blamed the UN’s “dismal lack of effectiveness” for the deadlock in Kyproulla. “Why do the decisions of the Security Council remain in their overwhelming majority sheer certificates attesting violations?”

There is one inconsistency in his tirade against the UN. If, as he said in his address, the UN is so dismally ineffective, serving the financial interests of powerful member states and tolerating violations based on common interests and alliances, why is he constantly appealing to it to help on the Cyprob? Why has he been begging the UNSG for the last 12 months to appoint a special envoy to Cyprus, bearing in mind the UN’s dismal ineffectiveness?

He had his prayers partially answered. At their Friday meeting, UNSG, Antonio Guterres, probably fed up of Nik’s moaning, agreed to send Assistant General Secretary Rosemary di Carlo to Kyproulla on a fact-finding mission in autumn.

The fact she will find will be that there is no chance of a resumption of the talks and not justification for the appointment of a special envoy, thus confirming the ineffectiveness of the UN.

 

A 65-year-old sheep-shagger was found guilty of 57 counts of cruelty towards animals by the Larnaca district court and sentenced to nine months in prison. For five months, he admitted, visiting a livestock farm in a Larnaca village and having sexual contact with animals.

A vet who had inspected the animals told police that at least two animals had been sexually violated. Did the police investigate the possibility at all of the sexual contact being consensual or was that not an option?

 

NOTE: We have Christodoulides trolls in our establishment’s comments section as well, but they are welcome as I think everyone has the right to earn a living. If they are trolling for free, because they are excited by his vision for Kyproulla or because they like his looks, or because they think his wife would make a good president, good for them. Keep on trolling.

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