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From meth to marathons

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Recovery has become my full-time job for one addict who always felt like the odd one out. PAUL LAMBIS hears he has now turned to stand-up comedy with a show he hopes to bring to Cyprus

Costa Carastavrakis’ narrative is one of honesty and courage, with him dragging himself out of toxicity and onto a path of recovery, ultimately becoming a better version of himself.

His harrowing story was detailed in his 2019 best-selling memoir, I am Costa – From Meth to Marathons, in which he took his readers on a raw and painstaking journey that revealed the true darkness of addiction, school bullying, hijacking and even rape.

“I wanted to prove that true body, mind and spirit recovery is attainable for anyone who cares enough to heal themselves,” Costa said.

Born in Johannesburg, South Africa, to a loving Greek family, Costa had a solid familial foundation that, in the eyes of the world, did not justify the path of self-destruction that followed.

diaspora costa with his mom
Costa with his mom

Yet this remarkable individual recalls continually feeling like an outcast in Greek South African society, not living up to the norm of what was expected of him. “I always felt like the odd one out, and even though I embraced my Hellenism, I didn’t fit in with the other boys my age,” he said.

“Since primary school, I stood out as a skinny, strange looking, overly feminine guy with different interests, and I spent most of my life masking my true identity while trying to fit in.”

Costa claims that he spent the better part of his life running away from who he truly was, and that turning to substances filled the void. “I was always terrified of drugs and knew what the consequences were, but I was suffering from social anxiety and began drinking during my university days, which eventually spiralled into heavy drugs by the time I was 30.”

Prior to that, however, Costa had come out to his parents in his early 20s. “Despite the fact that it took some time to process, we embarked on that journey as a family with as much love as possible.

“By that time, I had already formulated the patterns of drinking and addictive behaviours and had reached rock bottom,” he revealed.

Ironically, Costa’s worst period as an addict gave him the gift of desperation since he was consumed by fear, which required him to lift himself up and reclaim his life. “I thought this feeling of pain would never leave me,” he continued, “but I realised I didn’t want to feel this way again and was determined to do anything to start living my life.”

Looking back on those trying years, Costa admits to masking his addictions and using comedy as a coping method to lighten the burden of his inner feelings. “Humour was a deceptive layer at the time, and, although it made me socially popular, the pain within was unbearable.”

As part of his healing process, Costa chronicled his emotions through volumes of journals, which eventually evolved into an honest and poignant memoir that disclosed the truth behind his addictions and the tragic repercussions as a result. “I wanted to inspire individuals to find the same courage to abandon their toxic behaviours and embrace a healthier lifestyle through my own narrative,” he said.

Costa’s road to recovery also led him to find running as a form of exercise, which ultimately lessened his feelings of loneliness and isolation, reduced the effects of stress – and the urge to revert to his old habits – while assisting him in conquering depression and anxiety. “Running was also my way of spiritually connecting with God and expressing gratitude for the blessing of being given a body that needed to be healed to provide a support system for my mind and spirit.”

Running a marathon, triathlon and eventually the ironman, according to Costa, was the ultimate reward, opening doors that allowed him to meet innumerable people along the road and re-emerge into society confidently and level-headed.

diaspora2However, Costa there are many times when he is tempted to relapse, but he has worked hard to enforce certain principles that will not enable him to fail. “Recovery has become my full-time job, but I can’t do it without God’s help, so I always hand it over to Him and go to bed. The next morning, I attend my recovery meetings, and before you know it, the day has turned,” he said.

Today, Costa is making another comeback, this time as a stand-up comedian with his new comedy feast Desperately Seeking Souvlaki, which he hopes to bring to Cyprus soon. “I wanted to tell my story through a series of comedic performances focused on my Hellenic heritage and what I love about being a Greek in South Africa,” he explained. “The only way I could do this was to demonstrate that the Greek community, like all other European communities in South Africa, is not perfect. I don’t shy away from the messiness of our community’s sexism, racism, homophobia, superstitions and gossip, among other things.”

Although his highly successful, sold-out show was an act of healing, it is also an act of love, “and I am very proud of being Greek, proud of my oddness, and proud of my own identity”.

At times, Costa has to pinch himself when he realises what a dramatic 180-degree turn his life has taken. From fighting addictions and finding a voice within an often closed-minded community to competing in marathons, publishing a memoir, and embarking on a national and international tour of his one-man comedy show, Costa Carastavrakis is living proof that dreams must be followed even by those who feel they are the “odd one out”.

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