Home and hatred

THEWAY THINGS ARE

Going to her parked car, a teacher overheard a boy talking to pals, not about the usual social media trends but politics, and she could see where adult party affiliations were defensively taken on by youngsters as more boys engaged with him. He had started light-heartedly talking about clan males arguing during an extended family meal when beer loosened tongues. The discussion became heated as divisions were raised and sides taken as varied opinions entered the verbal fray.

One had said that if stupid Nato had let Ukraine join, then stupid Russia wouldn’t have invaded Ukraine. Another added that if stupid Cyprus had joined Nato, stupid Turkey wouldn’t dare move against us. Grandad had yelled that the stupid West had never shown Cyprus preferential treatment. The stupid Brits had occupied it, and the stupid US, through Henry Kissinger, had instigated the Greek coup that had caused the coup here, and only Russia was our true friend who never betrayed us. An aunt said everywhere is corrupt, we only imagine we’ve friends.

Grandmother had said they were all stupid fighting in front of the kids, and as Cyprus is occupied, it can’t condone the occupation of Ukraine, no matter how friendly we are with Russia. From what she had heard, the opposing attitudes seemed ingrained, the teacher said, and the quarrel was laying out embedded adult mindsets as gospel in front of the young before they were old enough to have formed opinions of their own. The teen years are a minefield of emotional implosions and explosions.

The previous day, a distressed woman had told me how a phone call from another mother about her daughter’s behaviour had shocked her. The girls had been close friends. The complaining mom’s girl had been the Alpha of their group until a newcomer usurped her. When the girl asked why they were shutting her out, they mocked her and tauntingly insulted her. ‘She comes home every day weeping, goes to her room and locks herself in. They’re hurting her and I’m worried it might make her maybe harm herself,’ the mother had cried down the phone. The second mother was horrified, she had taught her girl to be tolerant and polite. Her peer pod seemed controlled by the aggressive one that they followed like sheep. Why hadn’t her daughter stopped it? She thought she had brought her up to be independent-minded and decent and chastised her child who said the first Alpha was too bossy and acting superior.

Reading how school children who are uncertain about their evolving sexuality are being hounded and hurt by schoolmates makes one wonder if the young are copying attitudes learned in the home. LGBT+ lessons in schools offer explanations not judgement. People who disagree with the inclusion of the subject become outraged over what they see as encouragement to be other. Such education is to help children see the individual’s right to choose.

Hours of religious instruction in our schools in the last years of students’ lives could be more fruitfully given to subjects that are essential for their future. By then they know well its moral and Christian teachings. Haven’t they been taught, Don’t cast stones, don’t judge? Clerical example isn’t always by the Holy Book, either. ‘My neutral role is to expand and develop minds.’ The teacher said, ‘But parents can be stubbornly judgmental.’

A gay friend remarked how biased perceptions offend him. ‘When a heterosexual couple live together, they’re in love, nice, normal.’ Yet, he said, what prejudiced people think when a gay couple are together is what goes on in their bedroom. Parents have concerns for their inexperienced youth and some are well founded. The age at which a youngster can start thinking sensibly in terms of a sex transformation or sexual commitment has to be one where they can realistically assess the life battles they will face, hopefully with parental support.

Unscrupulous adults will selfishly take advantage of a young person’s indecision and try to influence them. Conversion therapy criminally takes away freedom to be true to oneself. We cannot tell other people how to live. Think before prefixing tolerance with ‘in’ for your children.