THE WAY THINGS ARE

Monk caught me years ago, and second time around on Netflix I surrendered to the sheer pleasure of the series. Actor Tony Shalhoub’s take on the obsessive-compulsive detective Adrien Monk for me drew a few situation and behavioral similarities with Cyprus.

I loved his devotion to finding his wife Trudy’s killer even though her unsolved murder mentally crippled him and worsened his erratic behaviour. I hated his meanness, it pained him to part with money or pay his patient, suffering assistants who grew to care for him.

Why compare Monk with Cyprus? He’s a case closer par excellence who could perhaps advise political leaders here on a way to solve our stagnant problem. Cypriot governments, not alone in this, are tightfisted with the poor and vulnerable while illogically giving money freely to the already well-placed and well off. (Remember Monk’s compulsive evening up of undeserved cash handouts in a bank?)

The episodes were well developed, humour included, the occasional plot hole forgivable, the good backup cast willing to listen to and act upon Monk’s intuitive advice. The Cyprob’s backup team and their northern counterparts are still cast in familiar roles, dealing with the same old plot holes that need filling with new material. They could be more inventive as actors instead of repeating the same stale scripts to local and international audiences.

There’s an unacceptance setting in among the weary young here towards the old stories and methods; they feel trapped. Cyprus, politically, doesn’t have anyone with Shalhoub’s unique tailored brand of irresistible charm that permits Monk’s aggravating habits our indulgence, his visionary qualities compensating for his irritating behaviour, much as the things we love about Cyprus outweigh the things we dislike or annoy us.

Monk is maniacally clean at home, as Cypriots are, but like some locals environmentally unfriendly with overuse of ocean-toxic cleaning fluids. We have a water shortage, yet the selfish will still ‘do a Monk’ regardless – he felt entitled to use the dishwasher for one plate during a water shortage. Think of all his wipes going into multiple plastic bags, things thrown wastefully away on a whim: think of our fly-tippers who disrespect archaeological sites or beauty spots.

He’s utterly self-centered in pursuit of his own needs, remember petite Natalie pushing him uphill in a wheelchair as he constantly complains. Think of the UN talkers acting as mediators whose efforts usually culminate in both sides saying the body favours the other lot.

‘He’s the guy!’ Monk won’t be saying in praise of a Cypriot politician, none of whom has solved one major problem in half a century. He could say that about young, straight-talking, Lambros Dionysiou who caused a stir earlier this month with his graduation speech at the University of Cyprus, who would make a superb MEP.

‘Here’s the thing,’ as Monk is prone to say. What if the UN peacekeepers decide we aren’t worth their wasted time and pull out? The Republic of Cyprus is so relaxed in the security the UN presence maintains, why change anything? The truth Monk ignored within his grasp set him free when he dared face it.

Changes in the north, politically, demographically, from which there is no going back, will constantly widen the gap, while the representatives of the Republic avoid facing the truth that realistic actions of compromise speak louder than repetitive rhetoric. Faux democracy is unfairly everywhere, especially in the West’s arming Ukraine to defend its freedom as it arms Israel to deny Palestinians control of their own lives and lands, verbal protests their usual ineffective objections.

If the UN leaves Cyprus, Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan has, with any slight excuse, a perfect template in Gaza for taking all of Cyprus. Will the West, EU or our new regional pals send military assistance? Doubtful. We know from 1974 we were left to be ravaged.

Like a Monk wipe, small nations like Cyprus and Palestine are disposable; the useful Bases will remain untouched, aloof. Greece, sensibly trying hard to mend fences with Turkey, has long seen Cyprus as an impediment to better relations with its powerful neighbour. Monk’s fears stifled life’s pleasures for him. We enjoy a precarious peace in an unequal society our informed youth won’t tolerate.