Minimalistic Christmas: nail your tree to the wall

Real trees have long gone, but so it seems have those bushy fakes

Picture the perfect Christmas Eve: snowflakes falling, laughter and carols filling the festive streets, mulled wine warming your innards, fragrant mince pies baking in the oven and giggling children watching the tree already peeling off the wall.

Yes, this year, the growing trend of ‘keeping it simple’ brings yet more suggestions on how to make the Christmas tree as imperceptible as ever.

Long gone appear the days of the real Christmas tree filling your home with the scent of pine and the ever-growing carpet of pine needles on the floor. But it seems even the days of the fake tree taking up precious storage space for most of the year are numbered.

Lack of floorspace is the main culprit for the rapid disappearance of Christmas trees from homes, even as they seem to be adorning shop windows earlier every year, with decorations hitting the shelves as early as August.

Gone are ‘the bigger, the better’ trees and shops are now sporting trees you can assemble in “three easy moves” with the star already glued on top.

Social media are full of ideas for the alternative tree, from ‘driftwood wonderland’ to ‘randomly nail these lights to the wall’.

All this seems very innovative and modern, until it’s time to put the pressies under the tree.

Having taken away Father Christmas’ chimneys, we’re now stripping him of a place to leave the presents. And in a politically correct world, he doesn’t get his dram and tipsy mince pie anymore, but a glass of milk and an oatmeal thingmajig. Where did we think he got those rosy cheeks from in the first place?

Nostalgia aside, Christmas traditions are adapting to modern living, with apartments people can actually afford being smaller than our childhood living rooms.

Big brands are now catering for shrinking floorspace and two-dimensional Christmas trees are being driven up the wall, so to speak.

Tree ‘skeletons’ are on the market, providing a non-invasive alternative that can be packed flat for storage under the bed for the 11 months until needed again.

Maybe it’s a matter of affordability, lack of time or simply minimal storage space – and indeed not having to squeeze past a tree that takes up half the living area.

A quick surf turned up ideas for shoppers and DIY enthusiasts alike. From Ikea to Jumbo, there is something for everyone.

Ikea’s Vinterfint stands on a table and is made of wood and metal. It sells for €19.99 and can be decorated or left as is. Another is a mini fir tree that will fit on a windowsill for just €9.99. The Vinterfint range also includes a tree-shaped decoration that can be hung on a wall and filled with decorations, again for €9.99.

Sophia doesn’t put up a tree. Last year she cut out a tree shape in green felt, added some lights and decorations, and put it up on the wall. She’ll be doing the same this year. “Minimalistic, easy and doesn’t take up any room at all,” she explains.

Jumbo also sports a hanging tree for €5.99, which can be decorated, and a small pre-decorated tree with baubles also for €5.99.

Kyriakos doesn’t put up a tree either. He whips out his trusted snow globe and places it on the shelf with a couple of other Christmassy bits and pieces. “Minimalistic. It makes taking them down a piece of cake,” he says.

Lidl proposes a tree in its latest catalogue that can be assembled flat with wooden rods with fir sprigs.

Demetra goes for the small option that doesn’t need assembling. She places it on a coffee table in the living room in early December.

Super Home Centre offers flat metal trees for “modern elegance” that promises to bring “sleek, festive charm to any space” with prices starting at around €6. Its Christmas tree ladders with berries start at around €13 and can be hung on the wall. Their Canada model, which promises “frosty charm”, stands 1.8m tall, takes up very little space and starts at €80.

Emily won’t be putting a tree up either, as she looks after her twin toddler nieces a few times a week. “Minimal decorations this year. Much easier.”

Stephanis’ catalogue ahead of Christmas includes space-savers, such as the Coolwhite for under €37 or the Warmwhite for €59, both pre-lit.

If you want to… nail it this year, mark a pyramid shape on the wall, hammer nails a couple of inches apart on the outline and string lights in a zigzag, followed by a garland and voila! you have a tree.

You could also stack books in a tree shape – the more books, the bigger the tree – or affix wrapping paper rolls to a cardboard triangle with a star on top.

Neutral colours could make your space look more elegant, while greens, golds and reds will lend a warmer feel to any room.

Then there are those who every year need two to drag the Christmas tree out of the shed and make it a family event to put it up and decorate it, singing along to carols and raiding mum’s holiday stash of chocolates and pastries, cinnamon biccies and marzipan rolls in the process.

It may be a lot of work, but it does set the mood.

Maria decorates in early December. She puts up a tall, bushy tree, full of baubles and other decorations. “I prefer the traditional tree because it feels like Christmas,” she says.

If you’re in need of new tree, Deventor’s premium, a bushy 2.4m-tall Christmas tree that can showcase a few generations worth of decorations, is being sold for €330.

Super Home Centre’s top-of-the-range traditional bushy trees cost up to a whopping €1,799. Of course, you could buy their fir-like half tree that stands against the wall for just over €90.

Whether you’re Rocking around the Christmas tree or dreaming of a White Christmas, the choice of décor is entirely up to you.

And, of course, you could trade your dangling balls for a cat.

In other words, if you’re going to go minimalistic this season of joy and merriment, you might as well get a cat – if you haven’t turned your house over to one already – and blame it on the feline’s obsession with baubles for getting rid of anything remotely festive.

As for myself, I’ll be bringing out a big tree I’ve had for years and filling it with handmade and store-bought decorations, collected over the years. Any sparse bits will be filled in with tinsel.

So, what will it be for you? The whole kaboosh or the full monty? I’m referring to the tree, of course.