If you are feeling demoralised, a simple tool invoking a mother’s love could help says DESPINA NICOLA

Many live out their lives in the hope of being rescued by a knight in shining armour; they long to be saved from their tormenters or even from the tyrant who lives within themselves.

Some people are in relationships that mirror their broken upbringing. They find it easier to be ruled by a bully than focusing on their own goals and interests, better the devil you know. They believe it’s easier to hold onto false hope, thinking their partners or the people who are in their circle will change.

But in reality, no one is coming, because it is our responsibility to change what does not serve us.

I appreciate why some find it hard to attract the right partner, as it means projecting who we believe we deserve. Many have had a shady upbringing and feel it is their lot in life to be miserable, but it is a choice.

We hold the key to set ourselves free since our past is not our life sentence. It needs hard work though to examine our own flawed beliefs. We have a voice; it should be used to ask for help.

Support can come in so many ways. We are born in an age engulfed with information and many people and tools to guide us. Support is even in our homes, flooding social media.

The question that remains is how can we amend our faulty imprints and attract healthy relationships and boundaries into our lives?

There are no magical solutions, but healing starts by becoming conscious. This means letting go of the victim mindset and the regurgitating of what crushed you. Holding on to it only brings hopelessness and a pulling deeper into a dark pit that is difficult to climb out of. You remain stuck there and cannot move forward.

The next step is going inwards. Examine how you were responsible for fabricating the events that transpired throughout your life. Even if you were manipulated, look at what memories generated the emotion of demoralisation and false hope. Then seek help through therapy, or reaching out to friends or family members. Make amends to the people who you hurt and accept that the only way to heal is to let go of being victimised by the past.

In life no matter how tough it has been we must always choose to move forward. We can always search for the activities that make us happy and are meaningful.

We should aim to have a solid emotional foundation that is not controlled by external factors. We can generate our own enthusiasm by using the resources found within. Carl Jung studied the unconscious mind extensively. He observed that we have invisible forces within called the archetypes that come out through our dreams, mythology and art. The most noteworthy archetype, or supreme ideal, was the one that heals through unconditional love. It is called The Mother. Even if your relationship with your mother was dysfunctional, this comes from a spiritual beam.

I like to see the mother figure as the Virgin Mary as she exalts love, warmth and light that infuses us with optimism. The light that cannot be taken away. Some might see her as an angel, others can feel her, it does not matter how you connect. What matters is that you accept her offering of support and encouragement to reach your highest potential.

By accepting her love, she can mend your emotional and physical wounds from the past. She helps us move forward into the future as adults and keeps on giving unconditionally.

We are all worthy of her love and she goes directly to your heart if you allow her to. From the book Coming Alive, 4 Ways to Defeat Your Inner Enemy, Ignite Creative Expression and Unleash your Soul’s Potential, by Barry Michel and Phil Stutz, I found an activity that allows the Mother Archetype to heal demoralisation and past pain and give healing.

To heal your past:

  • Close your eyes and recreate the demoralisation of an event from the past.
  • Turn negative thoughts into a dark toxic substance. Focus on the heaviness and oppressive substance weighing you down.
  • The visualised substance of thoughts and feelings have drifted out of your head.
  • Then you imagine a loving mother who is floating in the short distance above you. She radiates love, light and warmth. Look at her. How does it feel to be with her?
  • Place all your faith in her rule as she removes the dark and heavy substance which was holding you back. Just give it to her, let it go. The substance lifts from your body as if it’s weightless, and disappears.
  • She radiates her love and keeps her eyes on you. She has absolute confidence in you and believes in you like no one else has ever done before. Her unshakeable faith is filling you up and everything is possible.

Whenever you start to feel demoralised and want to give up pursuing your dreams, you can use this tool to help. You can create the future you want when maintaining an optimistic view. By using the mother tool, you can create hope out despair. You have resilience to defeat self-doubt. The mother archetype gives you an unwavering source of support and confidence to move forward into ta radiant future.