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Tales from the Coffeeshop: El Diablo bedevils God-fearing Kyproulla

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RELIGIOUS fanatics were incensed by the lyrics of our Eurovision song, El Diablo, and directed their self-righteous rage at the CyBC which had selected such an unchristian entry to represent God-fearing Kyproulla, the island of the pious and virtuous.

It was unclear whether the faithful objected just to the disrespectful title, the sexual lyrics (‘We wild as fire that’s on the loose, Hotter than siracha on our bodies’), or the infatuation with the devil (‘I gave my heart to el diablo, el diablo’), but it does not matter

On Friday, an irate Christian called the CyBC and said he would set fire to the building, even though he subsequently repented. He did not hide his identity and told Politis that he had reacted in anger, offering his apology to the staff of the CyBC and saying he would give a statement to the cops. On Saturday a nutcase went to the CyBC premises and shouted at staff sitting outside the building, about El Diablo but, as a true Christian, used no foul language or threatened violence (and he was wearing a face mask). In the video of the incident, posted on the Phil website, it was the CyBC employee the nutcase was shouting at, who became angry and had to be physically restrained by colleagues from attacking the man.

 

AN ONLINE petition has been set up demanding the withdrawal of the song, while different groups have issued statements expressing their disgust and disapproval of the song.

“Why does our small and semi-occupied country, have to be represented by a song that essentially promotes Satanism,” asked a group of school theologians. Elamites also took exception to the song, demanding its withdrawal and its replacement by song that showed “the beauty, the Greek Orthodox tradition and history of our country.”

Shockingly, Elam said nothing about the lyrics of the song being in English and not mentioning the Turkish occupation. “We want Europeans to know this beautiful island in the Mediterranean for its special characteristics and not its love for the devil,” the fascists said.

I have to say that I have never been a Satanist or devil-worshipper, but I still rate Sympathy for the Devil as one of the greatest songs by the Rolling Stones, especially the live version. As for El Diablo, the theologians’ and Elam’s disapproval, makes it a top song, no matter how bad it is.

 

THE EQUIVALENT of El Diablo, in the weird and wonderful world of the Cyprob, is ‘political equality’, public mention of which sparks the righteous rage another set of fanatics. You cannot even say it in the context of the Cyprob nowadays without being labelled a traitor ready to sell Kyproulla to the Turks.

Disy chief Averof Neophytou, was crucified by the uber-patriots this week, for daring to say that if we wanted to avoid partition and reunify the country “we should give political equality to the Turkish Cypriots.” A statement of the obvious for anyone with a functioning brain, but an act of treachery for the uber patriots.

Their parties all expressed their dejection at his lack of patriotism, and asked what political equality was he referring to. Diko pointedly asked, “Does he perhaps mean and propose acceptance of the Turkish interpretation of political equality?” Solidarnosc asked why he did not refer to “political equality as defined by the relevant resolutions of the UN?”

Uber-patriotism dictates surrendering all occupied territories to Turkey and keeping the Turkish troops on the island forever is a small price to pay for avoiding political equality.

 

IF YOU thought this week you would have been spared my rant against the police state’s Covid measures, I am sorry to disappoint you, but it has become something of a fixation for me.

I could not resist commenting about the so-called gradual relaxation of measures announced by our messenger of doom and gloom, Constantinos Ioannou, who has developed a real talent for putting a negative spin on everything he says about the pandemic, to stop us from relaxing and hugging our friends or not wearing our face mask in bed.

Ioannou would certainly not be suitable as the Minister for Loneliness, if Prez Nik decided to follow the example set by Japan which appointed such a minister this week to deal with the rising suicide rates caused by lockdowns and isolation of people. It was reported that in October alone “more people died by suicide in Japan than had died from Covid-19 the whole year prior.” It was a 70 per cent increase year-over-year, reported ‘Not the Bee’ website. There is no such problem here, thankfully, but I would not be surprised if some researcher found a direct link between depression and listening to Ioannou’s announcements.

 

THE RELAXATIONS, as always were without rhyme or reason. Two more levels in lyceums could go to school on Monday, but the first three levels of secondary school will have to wait another week before they return.

Why? Because the dream team advising the government said the lifting of restrictions should be gradual and it would not be gradual if all the secondary school kids returned on the same day. A week’s difference would make no difference but it is an epidemiological imperative.

Then there was the absurd decision on frontistiria (afternoon crammers) and gyms at which only two people would attend – the instructor and the student. This allowed Akel to make a class struggle argument, saying the measures penalised the poor – only those who could afford one-on-one teaching or gym training would go.

A day later, Ioannou increased the number allowed at a frontistiria class to four. There would be some 60,000 kids at schools on Monday, but the danger of the virus spreading would only be at the frontistiria. The good news is that the nature trails, recognised by the forestry department will reopen on Monday, but if it snows again on Troodos they will be closed.

 

MEANWHILE the police state, established to protect public health is expanding, with Ioannou announcing the recruitment of 260 Covid cops. “The basic pylon for the success of the relaxations is the correct supervision of the implementation of the health protocols,” said Ioannou on Thursday. An action plan had been formulated and 260 people will be hired to ensure its implementation – the Covid cops. “Our aim through the supervision of implementation of measures, is not the imposition of fines,” said Ioannou, going against character and putting a positive spin on what is a negative piece of news. It was to help businesses impose protocols correctly and effectively, he said. The reality is that the police state is giving the power to some losers to enter businesses, carry out inspections and impose fines. If the imposition of fines is not the police state’s aim and all it wants to do is help, why would the Covid cops have the power to impose them?

 

OUR POLITICIANS and CyBC hacks showed their undying love for Mother Russia once again this week by demanding that the Sputnik vaccine is imported immediately to Kyproulla. Discussing vaccinations at a House committee on Thursday, several deputies were persistently asking why we had not placed an order for Sputnik.

They received their answer. Russia had not even submitted an application for the approval of Sputnik by the European Medicines Agency (EMA). Without EMA approval no drug could be used in the EU. Even this response given by the EU representation in Cyprus was not enough to stop people clamouring for the Russian vaccine.

On Saturday a CyBC radio presenter asked his guest, a medicines expert, whether we could still bring Sputnik to Kyproulla without EMA approval as some other EU countries had done – he was referring to Hungary. There are some Cypriots that feel they have a duty to be vaccinated with Sputnik, especially after the sales pitch for the vaccine done by the Russian ambassador. A vaccine produced by a country that takes a principled stand on the Cyprob and is opposed to suffocating time-frames is bound to be more effective in protecting us from the coronavirus.

 

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