HAS NOBODY informed Nikos Christodoulides that the election campaign is over and that he should stop behaving like a presidential candidate and act like the presidente of the Kyproulla republic?

Last week anyone could have thought that the elections had still not taken place as Nikos II visited a hospital, a primary school and an army camp, making feelgood speeches about what he saw and promising to make things even better.

Admittedly, electoral campaigning is infinitely more fun than the boring business of running the country, which involves hard, unrewarding work and making decisions that have the potential of pissing off some people. As any Don Juan would tell you, the chase is much more enjoyable than consummation.

When campaigning you tell people exactly what they want to hear and they worship you like some kind of a modern-day deity. Once they vote for you and install you in power the magic disappears, and beautiful words are not enough to keep this relationship alive.

There is of course another explanation for the post-election campaigning. Prez Nikos may have already started working for his re-election, which is less than five years away. In this business you cannot get complacent for a minute.

THE CRITICAL comments about the cabinet choices, which included friends whom the presidential family would go on holiday with, had almost died down by Thursday when the holier than thou auditor-general decided to put the boot in.

The self-righteous bean-counter, during a hatchet job on the University of Cyprus at the legislature on Thursday, pointed out that the new deputy government spokesperson, Doxa Komodromou, had not resigned from her job as an admin officer the university on her appointment. This was technically against the law, said Odysseas, who often takes up the role of legal expert. She had also been working for a TV station, without permission from the university.

Komodromou on Friday said she had no intention of resigning from the university, unless the attorney-general told her she had to do so. Meanwhile Odysseas said he would report the matter to the president. In fairness, the president has expertise on the matter.

When, after a protracted legal battle, the supreme court ruled in 2018 that Christodoulides could take up his post as lecturer at UCy, he asked to be put on unpaid leave for four years, as he was serving as foreign minister at the time. The UCy authorities rejected his request, as the constitution does not allow a minister to hold down a second job. The supreme court rejected an appeal by him against the decision in 2021.

What will Nikos II do when Odysseas, the snitch, goes running to him?

ODYSSEAS exhibited his bean-counter mentality in all its glory at the legislature on Thursday, when he censured UCy for having Nobel prize winner Christoforos Pissarides in its faculty, despite the professor having reached retirement age in 2015.

His contract, claimed the sanctimonious bean-counter, had been extended “illegally” to 2026, and he was being paid €100,000 a year and was giving one lecture every six months while not taking part in any research programmes. Having Pissarides on the faculty was a scam by the university, claimed know-it-all Odysseas, displaying his academic expertise.

It was paying an old age pensioner 100 grand in order to rise in the university rankings. UCy, in this way, was deceiving the organisations that ranked universities, said Odysseas. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, a bean-counter knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

UCy RECTOR, Tasos Christofides, should have thought twice before hitting back at Odysseas, who turns nasty and vindictive against anyone who public questions his omniscience and moral superiority. Christofides, I was proud to note, repeated what our establishment has been saying for some time now – that society had turned Odysseas “into a saint.”

This saint often resorted to “half-truths”, which he spiced up “with salt and pepper” in order to have more impact. Saying “half-truths and being believed is worse,” said Christofides on Politis Radio, immediately eliciting a response from the saintly one, who passionately believes he is above criticism being the perfect specimen of humanity.

First he tweeted a response from his personal account, using the royal plural of course. “Stunned, we heard the Rector firing bile and acid. This is the level of the head of the top intellectual institution of our country.” Then the audit office tweeted its own response: “… the rector who yesterday was caught lying in the House about tele-work and more, instead of taking corrective measures about these ills, chooses dirt.”

Christofides, should be aware that the worse is yet to come. When you offend Odysseas publicly, his punishment is out of proportion.

SPEAKING of saints, Odysseas’ fellow saint, the director of the central prisons Anna Aristotelous must be suffering from a very serious illness as she has had her sick leave extended for another six weeks, until April 21.

She was due back at work last Friday, having been off sick for two months, since January 10. She had requested a transfer after the fallout with the police and the attorney-general, but because this was not granted immediately, she contracted a disease from which she will need a minimum three-and-half months to recover. And if she does not get her transfer by April 21, she will not be cured.

It was sheer bad luck that her deputy, Athina Demetriou, who could have stepped up when Anna went on sick leave, also became ill at the same time and was also signed off work until March 10. It was not known whether Demetriou returned to work on Friday, but if she caught the same mystery bug as Anna, she must also need another six weeks to make a full recovery.

WHEN the cabinet was announced, many wondered why the highly-respected, Anastasia Papadopoulou, who was destined for the ministry of justice, had eventually been left out.

It was reported that Depa chief Marios Garoyian had objected to her appointment, on the grounds that the Papadopoulos Law Office had issued some golden passports, and this would not reflect well on the government. This sounded more like a pretext, which Nikos II was very quick to accept.

The gossip doing the rounds is that by vetoing the appointment, Garoyian was doing a big a favour to his pal Nik, who did not want her in the post, for fear she would have ordered a full investigation into his personal involvement into his activities as prez. Nikos II, was reportedly more than happy to side with Garoyian.

OUTGOING deputy minister of culture Yiannis Toumazis, was taken by surprise when he was handing over his portfolio to his successor Michalis Hadjiyiannis, the pop entertainer, who seemed completely disinterested in cultural matters,

The pop star was accompanied at the meeting by his friend, veteran journalist, Andreas Paraschos, who showed a much bigger interest in the affairs of the ministry than Hadjiyiannis. In fact, all the questions at the handover meeting were being asked by Paraschos, who showed much greater interest in what was going on at the deputy ministry than the new deputy minister, whose expertise is low-brow entertainment.

It appears that Hadjiyiannis will be running the deputy ministry by proxy.

THE LONG arm of justice does not stretch very far in our hillbilly town, Paphos, where the criminal court found a 63-year-old man guilty of attempted murder of his wife and gave him a suspended six-month jail sentence. The court said the suspended sentence was justified because the man had shown “sincere regret.”

In the plea for mitigation the defence lawyer, said his client had apologised for his actions, regretted them and promised he would not do it again! It is good to see that Paphos courts showed leniency because the man promised he would not try to kill his wife again.

ANOTHER man who was pardoned by ex-prez Nik, after serving three of his eight-year sentence for possessing 366 cannabis plants and 5.8kg of cannabis, had promised not to engage in cannabis cultivation again. Three years after his pardon in 2018, and despite his promise, he was in possession of 9kg of cannabis and 19 plants. He was sent back to prison and submitted an appeal to the supreme court, claiming his sentence was excessive. He should be pardoned for his audacity.

ALTHOUGH the legislature rejected a proposal to suspend the foreclosures law for three months on Thursday, our caring political parties, have demanded that finance minister Makis Keravnos should come up with proposal to protect people who are not repaying their housing loans.

Keravnos said he would come up with a set of proposal. In the meantime, Keravnos appealed to banks and credit-acquiring companies not to foreclose primary residences, valued up to €350,000 that belong to vulnerable members of society. How can vulnerable members of society be in a €350,000 residence? In the end the taxpayer will pick the bill so the vulnerable can stay in a house they refuse to pay for.

THE TOP story of the week was that road bumps cause cancer, but I have unfortunately run out of space. Will elaborate next week.