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Tales from the Coffeeshop: Still striving to be an A-list international problem

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How moving to see Nik I return to his office for a meeting with Nik II to check how his heir was getting on

ANGELA MERKEL was declared possible candidate for the role of special envoy of the EU by all the Cyprus and Greece news websites, after Prez Nik II’s visit to Germany and his meeting with Chancellor Olaf Scholz.

“German involvement and the Merkel scenario,” reported Antenna, “Preparing Angela Merkel as mediator in Cyprus issue,’ said defence-point.gr, “President places Merkel in picture-frame as candidate envoy of EU for Cyprus,” announced Phil, while inewsgr.com trumpeted “(She) Returns! Merkel takes on (on behalf of the EU) the Cyprus issue.”

Had anybody asked the former chancellor, who has stayed out of the public eye since stepping down in December 2021, if she would like to be an EU special envoy for the Cyprob? Has she indicated the slightest bit of interest for such role to anyone? Is she the sort of person who would come out of her well-earned retirement to achieve a new deadlock?

The answer to all the above is a ‘no’ as resounding as that of the 2004 referendum, not to mention that talk of an EU envoy is a bit premature. The EU has not even decided that it will appoint a special envoy/mediator for Cyprus and the probability of this happening seems only marginally higher than a solution of the Cyprob itself.

 

WHO CAME up with the brilliant idea of getting Merkel involved in the Cyprob, without even asking her? Her name was brought up, as a possible envoy, during the Prez’s first visit to Brussels in March, when he was promoting his idea for a more active/leading role of the EU in efforts for the resumption of talks.

It was given as an example, of the respected EU “political personality” that our Nik was proposing for a leading and active role in the Cyprob, a politician that the Turks would supposedly listen to, and then it was forgotten. But Merkel was brought up again in an exclusive interview Nik gave to Deutsche Welle on his visit to Germany.

Asked by the interviewer about the political personality that could take the role of envoy, and whether it could be Merkel, the Prez said he had exchanged views about specific politicians with the French president and Netherlands prime minister and would also do so with Scholz. Of course, Merkel was a personality that could play a part, but whether she wanted the role or would be the choice of the EU remained to be seen, he said.

In the briefing of hacks, it was made clear that Merkel’s name was brought up by the interviewer and our Nik was only answering the question.

 

THE PREZ had nothing to do with the talk about Merkel as a candidate, he assured, so why had all the media put her in the frame?

Was this part of the effort to revive the dead Cyprob, which nobody outside the sunshine isle is remotely interested in (not many inside are interested either), by giving it some much-needed showbiz glamour. Having Germany’s longest-serving chancellor, a respected figure of world renown involved would definitely raise the problem’s standing on the world stage.

This might not lead to a resumption of talks, let alone a settlement, but it would still make the Cyprob an A-list international problem, getting world media attention, at least for a few days, before returning to being the problem nobody wants to hear about.

All this is assuming the EU will have taken seriously our Nik’s proposal, which is far from certain. As Scholz said, after his meeting with the Prez on Thursday, a settlement “requires political courage from all parties involved and I do not know if there is enough will from all sides,” and it is doubtful he was referring only to the Turks.

 

DEPUTY attorney-general Savvas Angelides decided to return fire after the attacks he came under from the deity-general Odysseas and his army of social media snipers, which included the deity office’s spokesman, the deity-general’s support group and his son.

All were systematically accusing the deputy AG of corruption and on Monday Angelides decided to hit back, as the “continued throwing of dirt and the undocumented, mindless whisper-mongering, tarnished his name, dignity and reputation.”

Odysseas responded with a defiantly self-righteous statement saying he was not under the guardianship of the AG or the deputy AG and did not need their permission to “inform the public responsibly and officially about issues that see the light of publicity.”

Only Odysseas and his mob could declare someone corrupt before there has been an investigation and evidence found. This is his idea of responsibly informing the public.

 

THE REIGN of terror imposed by Odysseas and his bully boys has eliminated most resistance to the deity-general. The Prez has already submitted to him, allowing him to dictate the criteria for the appointment of advisors to ministers and the president.

In his row with Angelides and the AG, the government stayed totally neutral, for fear of upsetting the man in charge of the country, even though he was entirely to blame. As for the anti-corruption authority, to which Odysseas reported the cases of alleged corruption in which Angelides was involved, it announced it would investigate them immediately.

All other cases would be put on hold because the country’s supreme ruler cannot be made to wait. And English lawyers would be hired to carry out the investigation, it said, as it does not want to end up being targeted by the Odysseas mob in the event the findings do not support the ruler’s allegations.

 

ODYSSEAS has not pursued the irregularity at the presidential palace which brought in Pitsa Xiouri as secretarial staff, even though she is classed as clerical staff, the lowest rung in the civil service.

Perhaps he is doing the presidential couple a small favour as Xiouri had been running errands for them when they were running the foreign ministry, like taking the kids to afternoon lessons and picking up food for them.

She does not need to do any of this now as there are dozens of policemen for such errands. The first lady alone, I hear, has been allocated 12 cops for her security detail. Six of them are women, underlining the presidential couple’s commitment to gender equality.

 

NOW WE know what happened in the friendly match that Prez Nik I called the president of the sports ethics committee to tell him not to investigate. The match between Apollonas and Karmiotissa was flagged for suspicious betting activity, backing three goals to be scored in the second half. It happened.

Another match that received a red notice but was not investigated was between Ael and Karmiotissa with most of the money going on nine goals being scored. Betting firms stopped taking bets at some point, but nine goals were scored. The ninth was an own goal by the keeper in the final minute of the game.

Nothing suspicious there to merit investigation. These things happen in the beautiful game, especially when Karmiotissa is playing.

 

THE HEAD of the Health Insurance Organisation, Andreas Papaconstantinou, boasted at a seminar on Gesy a few days ago that the HIO had uncovered a fake medical lab that was collecting money from it. When the HIO sent someone to check the so-called lab they found that the address was a field.

Was this something to boast about? That this non-existent lab was issuing invoices to the HIO and getting paid for tests it was not carrying out really beggars belief. It seems anyone can register a testing centre with Gesy without any checks being carried out on site regarding equipment or standards.

 

FORMER Elam deputy Andreas Themistocleous invited universal condemnation – not for the first time – for a grossly offensive comment in response to a post by Greens deputy Alexandra Attalides. She posted a comment regarding the criminalisation of the conversion therapies in which she included a threatening comment she had received for campaigning for LGBT rights.

The threatening comment said, “we will send you three blacks.” Themistocleous, an unapologetic fascist who also trades in sexism, picked this up and wrote, “It appears the three blacks never arrived.” His comment was labelled sexist, offensive, obscene, abusive, hideous, unethical among other things, but nobody called it racist which it blatantly was. Nobody called it funny either, even though I suspect its puerile offensiveness may have caused a chuckle in the less prudish among us.

 

HOW MOVING to see Nik I return to his office for a meeting with Nik II to check how his heir was getting on with the business he bequeathed him. They also tried to hide the ashtray from the view of the cameras, but it was still spotted by some.

Why was the meeting publicised? Could it not have taken place privately? And if there was any advice Nik II needed could he not have called Nik I on the phone for it? It just seemed like unnecessary theatre, which does not inspire much confidence in the heir’s capabilities.

I hear the theatre was staged as part of the cunning heir’s efforts to lure Disy into the government fold. He had a meeting with the Disy boss Annita Demetriou last week but did not get very far in this respect. By publicising his close ties with Nik I, he hopes to appeal to other members of the Disy leadership and undermine Demetriou’s resistance. Hopefully she will not budge.

 

I DOUBT Henry Kissinger, who turned 100 years old on Saturday, will have received any birthday cards from Cyprus. Reading the international press, all the criticism regarding his career as secretary of state, on the occasion of his birthday, referred to Chile, Cambodia, Laos, Angola, East Pakistan, East Timor, but there was no mention of Kyproulla. Why?

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