THE VIOLENT scrap between the Turks and a dozen Brit and Slovak men from Unficyp was a great way to wake us up from our August slumber. Something exciting happened, news-wise, in the dead holiday season and it was caught on video so we could all enjoy the spectacle of a real scuffle in dust.
Although most reports on Friday spoke about three peacekeepers being injured, the Turkish side also went looking for sympathy, the pseudo-police claiming 15 cops involved in the scrap had to be taken to hospital, eight of whom had been ‘beaten’. In short, they got a hiding despite outnumbering the UN soldiers two to one.
All 15 were released, seven of whom were untouched. Why had the seven been taken to hospital if they had suffered no injury? Did they have to be seen by psychologists in case the experience had traumatised them? Or perhaps the Turkish Cypriots were playing the victim card after their tough grandstanding in the buffer zone turned into a colossal PR disaster.
I do not recall the last time Turkish actions in Cyprus sparked such universal loathing. The US, France, UK, China, the EU, the European Parliament and the normally fence-sitting UN Secretary-General strongly condemned the Turkish violence.
And not a single word of sympathy for the eight Turkish Cypriot cops that were beaten and had to be taken to hospital.
SOUTH of the border, the condemnations were triumphantly greeted, with Diko unable to conceal its ecstatic joy about the “international outcry” (lack of perspective has always been its strong point) in an announcement on Saturday.
The party “welcomes and applauds that stance and reaction of the international community, which as one body has condemned the dangerous, unacceptable, illegal and criminal actions by men of the occupation regime in Pyla, against legality and against the safety of Unficyp peacekeepers.”
It was surprising that by Saturday afternoon, Mother Russia had not condemned the illegal and criminal actions of the men of the occupation regime given its “perennial, unchanging, principled stand on the Cyprob.”
It would be foolish to focus on Russia’s silence in these happy times when we are firmly perched on the moral high ground listening to the rest of the world slamming the Turks’ violent behaviour. We will ignore the fact that the so-called international outcry was sparked by the attack on the UN peacekeepers rather than the violation of the buffer zone.
IF OUR Prez was not such a churchgoing puritan, there would have been wild partying at the presidential palace over the Turks’ self-destructive arrogance. Instead, he will have prayed and thanked the Lord and the Virgin Mary for the divine assistance.
His goody-two-shoes Cyprob policy was paying high dividends. Not only had he persuaded the international community that he is the good guy that is sincerely committed to a settlement, but the Turks were confirmed as the bad guys deserving the world’s unequivocal condemnation.
All the reports about continuous meetings at the presidential palace with advisors were theatre as the government did not have to do anything other than sit back and listen to the Turks make lame excuses about the cock-up of their own creation.
Prez Nik II called a national council meeting on September 1 to discuss the Pyla situation, which might be forgotten by then. If it is, he could discuss with the party leaders the idea of declaring August 18 a national holiday to celebrate our biggest diplomatic triumph of the last 40 years. Not even the opening of the fenced area of Varosha sparked such an unequivocal universal condemnation.
ON FRIDAY’S front page, before the fighting had even begun, Phil ran the banner headline ‘Move to seize the buffer zone’ under the strapline ‘Turkish plan in the Pyla-Arsos area.’ In a secondary headline the paper said, ‘Attila achieves a military advantage.’
This sounded rather silly, considering Attila has always had a pretty emphatic military advantage, but the paper explained what it meant. “The plan involved the building of a road linking the occupied village of Arsos to an advanced, illegal military guard post of the occupation regime.”
I am ignorant about military matters, but it seems to me linking some hell-hole of an occupied village to an advanced Turkish guard-post will not shift the balance of power and put us in a more disadvantageous military position than we were already in.
MINISTERS and deputy ministers will gather at the presidential residence in Troodos on Friday for an informal meeting with Prez Nik II, announced the under-secretary to the president Irini Piki.
This would not be a council of ministers meeting and no decisions would be taken, as one will be held in Nicosia a day earlier, said Piki, who has the role of presidential enforcer. Instead, this would be an opportunity for ministries and deputy ministries to present their targets and priorities “to see what we are aiming for in the next period, based on the people-centric programme of the president of the republic,” she told the Cyprus News Agency.
“A brainstorming will take place, an exchange of views,” said Piki. After being in power for five months does the Prez and his enforcer still not know what the government’s priorities and targets actually are, and is waiting to hear about them from ministers during the brainstorming session on Troodos?
We hope it is a productive brainstorming session, after which the Prez “will know what his government is aiming for in the next period” as part of its “people-centric programme.”
THE ENFORCER’S role will be formalised with the creation of the Secretariat of Coordination and Monitoring of the Government’s Work, which will be run by Piki, supported by 12 civil servants.
“Through the secretariat,” Piki told Phil last Sunday, “the more effective implementation of the administration’s programme is sought and other important reforms, transparency is strengthened regarding the activities of deputy ministries and ministries as well as accountability to the citizens.”
Piki appears to have fully adopted her boss’ hot air discourse. If the hot air produced by this government could be converted to energy, we would have the cheapest electricity bills in the world and have surpluses for export.
OVERJOYED to see that the Prez’s intervention ensured that two doctors, Health Minister Popi Kanari and ministry perm sec Christina Yiannaki called a truce. Presumably Dr Popi will not again publicly bring up Dr Christina’s qualifications and Dr Christina will not leak information to the press about Dr Popi’s plans for the ambulance service.
It is unclear how our smooth-talking Prez ensured an end to hostilities. I suspect he may have threatened to smack their respective bottoms if there was a repeat of the misbehaviour.
ARCHBISHOP Georgios might not speak in public half as often and about every issue under the scorching sun as his predecessor but it is reassuring to know that his uber-patriotism is as pure.
He has also added a puritanical dimension to his uber-patriotism. After the church service for the dormition of the Virgin Mary on Tuesday he expressed the wish that the Virgin Mary would make Greek Cypriots realise that the objective was not to have a good time, but the liberation of Kyproulla.
I fear even divine intervention is unlikely to make us give up having a good time for the sake of liberation. Georgios was not only cross with us ordinary good-time folk. He also warned the politicos that if “we continue to beg for negotiations and make concessions for negotiations to start” Kyproulla will be “Turkified.”
Then liberation it is.
