MANY claim that the election of Nik II would be a continuation of the rule of Nik I, the only difference being the beard. The dismal reality is that the first eight months of Nik’s reign has more similarities with the demented dictatorship of the proletariat established by Comrade Tof than with the corrupt rule of Nik II’s predecessor and mentor.

Not only is the bearded one spending the taxpayer’s money with the self-righteous attitude of a commie, but he has also granted the union bosses the freedom of country. Everything they ask for is granted, be it an increase in CoLA, the removal of the 12 per cent penalty on pensions, the renegotiation of the minimum wage and hiring of more public parasites.

A more appropriate title for his labour minister, Yiannis Panayiotou, would have been minister for the promotion of union demands, as he has performed this role unfailingly. In business circles he is known as ‘Red John’, for his blatant pro-union bias. He even announced his intention to close supermarkets on Sunday, another union demand.

The day after he said this, the government issued a statement ruling it out. Prez Nik II had obviously been reprimanded by the owner of Kyproulla’s biggest supermarket chain, one of the biggest donors to his election campaign, not to mention the unrelenting support offered by his TV station.

THE EFFECT of Nik II’s promotion of union rule was evident in the 2024 state budget, which envisages an increase in the public payroll by a staggering 15 per cent, that is half a billion euro to a total of €3.7 billion. With about 2,000 posts for public parasites to be filled and the increase in CoLA, this was inevitable.

The last time there was such a whopping increase in the payroll was in 2009, a year after the establishment of the proletarian parasite dictatorship by comrade Tof.

It was indicative of the government’s total confusion that finance minister, Makis Keravnos, on Monday complained to the House finance committee about the effects of the increase in CoLA on the payroll which his colleague Red John had imposed and the cabinet, of which he is a member, approved.

Why had Makis not expressed his concerns at the cabinet meeting which approved the CoLA increase and waited until after the damage was done to open his mouth.

THE PROLETARIAN sympathies of the government were also evident in the way it avoided taking a stand on the illegal strike (procedures stipulated by law were ignored) called by the ultra-greedy unions of the public hospitals, which employ 6,500 bona fide public parasites, last Wednesday.

Unions want the 1,000 contract staff to also be given parasitic status, even though this would be a violation of the law governing Okypy. Prez Nik II said he would try and find a solution, volunteered Red John to mediate, but in the end the job will be undertaken by health minister Popi Kanari, a career public parasite, whose neutrality is assured.

When the idea of mediation is brought up it implies there would be a compromise. I suspect the compromise might violate the law a little bit, but not too much.

MEDIATION by the mediation service of the labour ministry, for example, always ends up favouring the unions, because it is invariably carried out by officials belonging to Pasydy. And with Red John in charge of the ministry this bias has intensified.

A few months ago, bank representatives that attended mediation at the ministry were shocked by the blatant bias in favour of Etyk by the officials, who told them not to bother arguing their case because the union was in the right and the service’s decision had already been made.

IS OUR churchgoing, upstanding nationalist Prez, who embraces traditional family values, a communist, or perhaps a Marxist Christian? He is not. Our Prez would be anything to get him elected, including an atheist, pro-settlement, cross-dressing vegan.

He made a lot of promises to the unions during his election campaign. Sek union federation publicly backed his candidacy, he promised the teaching unions he was on their side (he scrapped twice-yearly exams) he reminded Pasydy that he was one of them, as was his wife, and a few weeks after his election he was guest of honour at Etyk’s conference.

Payback is the establishment of union rule, which we are living under now and will carry on doing so for years to come because there are elections in four years’ time. Hopefully, we will not have entered an assistance programme by then, even though it would be the only thing to end the dictatorship of the union bosses.

OUR DELUSIONS of world importance carried on unabated in the last week by the usual suspects. Prez Nik took centre stage of the delusion industry, taking on the significant role of international statesman whose opinions carry great weight in European politics.

Last Sunday, Phil, the mouthpiece of the delusions had as its front-page lead, the story branding “Nicosia the bearer of messages to the EU”. The source of this story could only have been Prez Nik II himself as it reported what had happened at the European Council five days earlier.

Apparently, the Prez, as bearer of messages, “presented to our partners the concerns and demands of the three basic players of the region, Egypt, Israel and Jordan.” The report said: “he briefed the European Council about everything he had discussed successively with Netanyahu, al Sisi and King Abdullah.”

And the proof of our world significance? “All three leaders chose Nicosia to convey, outside of the region, the real picture, meaning to brief, among other things, the EU,” reported Phil.

Because in Jordan, Israel and Egypt there are no phones or email for their leaders and their officials to communicate directly with EU leaders; and their messenger pigeons also happened to be on strike, so they all had to rely on our Prez to convey their concerns outside the region.

PRIVATE hospitals that are now offering A&E services on Gesy are not exactly playing fair. One private hospital based in Nicosia has only been keeping part of the deal it made with the (HIO) Health Insurance Organisation.

While it is treating patients that show up, if they need admission to the hospital, it refuses to admit them, referring them instead to Nicosia general hospital. These leads to angry rows between doctors of the two hospitals.

Everyone knows why this happening. Private hospitals refuse to take patients with pathological ailments that do not need to be operated on. The HIO pays a much higher daily rate per bed for patients that have had an operation than someone suffering from gastroenteritis. All patients that need hospital care but no surgery end up at the public hospitals.

THE UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres has finally answered our prayers and seems set to appoint some kind of envoy/representative for the Cyprob. Our government, which has signalled its approval to the person chosen for this thankless role, has been presenting the appointment as a major diplomatic victory.

Meanwhile, north of the dividing line, Ersin Tatar has decided to play hard to get, as the appointment requires his approval, something he is not in a rush to give. He wants to enjoy the sense of personal importance and power – the future of the Cyprob depends on his answer – for a few days, or at least until Ankara orders him to cut the crap and get on with it.

I THINK the Cyprob is destined to face stiff competition as Kyproulla’s great unsolved problem. The halloumi PDO problem looks set never to be solved, because of the intransigence of the many sides in the dispute; so much intransigence and not a Turk in sight to be blamed.

Now that the cow milk content in the national cheese has to be reduced the cow farmers and cheesemakers have decided this should not go ahead. Negotiations will resume under the agriculture minister on Monday, so that the deadlock can be confirmed.

In another twist to the halloumi problem, Phil reported on Friday that 7,000 tonnes of halloumi were being produced annually, without there being available milk. There were suspicions, it said, this halloumi was made using ‘undeclared milk’ or even milk-powder, which presumably means it is pseudo-halloumi that can never be internationally recognised and be a member of the UN.

A REGULAR skettos drinker passed on the following to our establishment, which we felt duty-bound to share.

“The Canadian Revenue Agency (CRA) sent back the Tax Return to a Canadian taxpayer because of his answer to one of the questions. In response to the question ‘Do you have anyone dependent on you?’ the man wrote: ‘2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4 million unemployable scroungers, 80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons, plus 450 idiots in Parliament, thousands of ‘politicians’ and an entire group that call themselves Senators.’ The CRA state that the response he gave was unacceptable. The man’s response back to the CRA was, ‘Who did I leave out?’”

Kyproulla, being a midget country cannot boast such numbers, but apart from all the above, the Cypriot taxpayer also has 60,000 public parasites as dependents, who increase their dependence every year. The measure of this bloodsucking – the public sector payroll – will increase by 15 per cent next year. We will have no blood left to donate to blood banks.