IT STARTED out as a soundbite a few months ago, but our prez fell so in love with it that he has turned it into a national slogan, which he and his boy, Mini Me, have been uttering with tedious regularity ever since.

I refer to the official slogan that “Cyprus is not part of the problem, but part of the solution,” which is used as the go-to response for any question of a government stance (to say decision would be excessive). It is an inoffensive, patriotic and easy-to-understand assertion, but above all it is totally meaningless.

Mini Me used it ten days ago in response to Akel’s attacks on the government for allowing the American warship, USS Wasp to dock in Limassol. In relation to the war in Gaza, Cyprus, most definitely, is not part of the problem but it is neither part of the solution, although this panders to our delusions of grandeur.

We are really being delusional to even suggest that we are part of the solution. Kyproulla, in reality, is not part of anything related to the war in Gaza – even its much-touted humanitarian sea corridor, Amalthea, which solved nothing, did not last. 

WHEN the slogan is used in reference to the Cyprob, which it has been by our prez, it ceases being meaningless but becomes nonsensical, almost surreal.

Kyproulla’s government has been a part of the problem (not as big as Turkey’s part) and has made it abundantly clear over the years that it wants no part in the solution either.  

But why allow reality to ruin such a nice-sounding slogan, which is neither aggressive nor mean, but is a big part of the marketing of our prez’s all-round positivity. “I am ready to go to talks even tomorrow,” is another example of his unrelenting positivity.

THE POSITIVITY our Prez displays on the Cyprob, even though purely theoretical, has not gone down well with three of Diko’s theoretical freedom-fighters, who have written to their illustrious leader, Ethnarch Junior, demanding a meeting of the party’s central committee to discuss the unacceptable concessions being made to the Turks.

In the letter, dated August 6 and published in Phil, the three bash-patriotic Diko deputies (Koulias, Mylonas, Orphanides) said they were “worried about the future and prospects of the Hellenism of Cyprus,” by statements made by the Prez, government officials as well as the PM and foreign minister of Greece.

The anguish of the tenacious threesome related to their realization that “there is no resistance to the concessions that they willingly undertook to pursue for Cyprus, secretly, securing the geostrategic and economic interests of Turkey, burying the future of citizens today and of the future generations of Cyprus.”

It is a remarkable achievement that our Prez’s handling of the Cyprob has succeeded in pissing off the anti-settlement and pro-settlement camps, both of which, seem to consider him not just part of the problem, but the problem itself.

THE LETTER of the Diko freedom-fighters was written before it emerged that the government had made another Hellenism-threatening concession to Turkey, reportedly, giving its approval to foreign minister Hakan Fidan attending an informal meeting of the EU General Affairs Council at the end of the month.

Had they heard that our government gave its approval for Fidan to attend despite Turkey’s intransigence and the prez’s boasts that the Cyprob has become a European problem as it has been linked to EU-Turkey relations. Why had the government given its consent to Fidan’s presence, having vetoed this earlier the year?

It was probably told by Brussels that it had no choice in the matter, and Mini Me was called to put a positive spin on the embarrassment, which he did with the competence of a schoolkid that had learnt his lines well. He used almost the same phrases responding about this embarrassment to Rik and Tass.

The Republic’s consent, he told Tass “constitutes a strategic political move of high importance and a practical show of good will and sincere political will, both for the strengthening of EU-Turkey relations and for progress in efforts for resumption of talks…”

EARLIER in the day he had told Rik it was a “strategic move of high political value.” How did he know the strategic move was of high political value, considering it could amount to nothing apart from Fidan attending the meeting. What is the political value of nothing?

The person that told Mini Me what to say must have the answer. He could also tell us how a strategic political move can be a show of sincere political will, because when you are moving strategically, sincerity is the first casualty.

The moral of this nonsense was that the Republic, “proved for one more time its constructive stance.” The Republic has been doing a lot of proving since Nik II entered the presidential palace and banned grown-ups.

WELL-INFORMED sources reported that the presidential palace, the prez’s popularity ratings on a steady downward path has hired a communications advisor to help him improve his standing.

Nik had decided against hiring a communications advisor after the embarrassment of the copy-paste speech announcing his candidacy, but the poor publicity he has been attracting, despite pandering to crowds and attending three social functions a day, led to change of heart.

I am no communications expert, but if he hired me, I would tell him two things – stop acting like a nice schoolkid always eager to please the teacher and shave that sorry beard.

Alternatively, he could declare a war that he could win, preferably against another midget country. Margaret Thatcher was the most unpopular prime minister in British history, until she declared war on Argentina over the Falkland Islands, after which she won two elections.

PLEASED to see that Archbishop Makarios’ “long unyielding struggle” was remembered by Phil columnist Costas Venizelos who told his readers that it had never been pursued, in the way that Mak had envisaged, as if, if it had been, we would have been in a better position today.

He failed to tell us in what ways we would be better off if Mak’s advice had been followed to the letter. The writer’s assumption that Mak was a great intellect, a font of unrivalled political wisdom and prescience, is not really supported by a political career marked by spectacular failure.

He failed to achieve his big objective of enosis, turned the Republic into a dysfunctional state, just three years after independence, and when he left the presidency in 1977, 37 per cent of the Republic’s territory was under Turkish occupation. With such an abysmal record, I think he lost the right to offer any political advice on the way forward.

“DANGEROUS children’s clothes,” read the headline in Tuesday’s Politis, which sounded more like the title of a cheap horror movie about ‘killer T-shirts’ than for a news story.

It turned out to be a legitimate news story, as the Consumer Protection Service had identified clothes in the Cyprus market that were “dangerous for the safety and health of children.” The service had listed posted on its website the dangerous clothing items, which had been withdrawn from the market.

The service listed two types of children’s trousers, which “contain danger of injury because they have waist draw strings, which could be trapped and injure a child during several activities.”

Gentlemen reading this should not fear, as pyjama trousers with draw-strings do not pose any danger, as long as they are only worn in bed and there is not much activity. If they posed a danger, I am sure the Consumer Protection Service would have issued a warning.

I THINK I have been infected by our government’s positivity virus, because I feel compelled to close on a positive note. This is the time of year for the Paphos mangoes, which are by far the best mangoes you will ever eat in Kyproulla.

They are available for just a few weeks in August, but this year, because of the high temperatures, they ripened a bit earlier than normal. They are much tastier and juicier than any of the imported mangoes that are available round the year.

You probably have another week, at most two, to taste a magnificent Paphos mango, the best thing to ever come out of Paphos, apart from the politicians.