Anyone for gibberish?

By Richard Dickenson

There are so many ingeniously meaningless phrases bandied about all over the web – ‘We are firmly on the side of the individual, we are totally committed to’ and the nauseating lie ‘Your call is important to us.’ Then there are gimmick acronyms like GOAT etc.

Pondering all this flimsy kerfuffle I designed and wrote a highly protective little computer program that obliges, upon command by pressing ‘Enter’ on the keyboard, by spewing out a pile of high-falutin’ gibberish of its own that could be used for any company to sound something it isn’t. If my computer sees any of the phrases used it has an ‘automatic erase’ option that deletes everything to do with it. Try this. It alleges to promote the services of an imaginary company of mine invented just for the purpose, RD Holdings Ltd, or RDH. ‘Randomly-Generated Corporate Promotional Material’

Without adequate architectures, mega-accounting programs are forced to become infinitely reconfigurable. At RD Holdings Ltd [RDH] we think we know how to expand dynamically despite this.

Quick: do you have an integrated game plan for coping with emerging aggregation? It sounds remarkable, but it is realistic! We will scale up your power to disintermediate without lessening our capability to strategise. And we always facilitate intuitive e-commerce. That is an amazing achievement when you consider the current market.

Quick: do you have a back-end plan for dealing with emerging platforms? Think hyper-electronic ultra 24/7/365. If you engage perfectly you may still have to innovate. The aptitude to expedite strategically leads to the power also to engage intuitively. The bloatware factor is a long-term matrix. We believe it is better to extend micro-macro-vertically.

We recognise that it is better to optimise than to re-contextualise. We here at RDH realise that it is better to harness strategically than to engineer with too much transparency. Without Total Quality Control, you will lack R&D and a widespread platforms factor. The ability to transition robustly leads to the capability to generate and re-generate. Think efficient. Think proactive. Think cross-platform. But don’t think all three at the same time.

We invariably visualise appealing web-readiness as, frankly, is it more productive in cross-media to facilitate ‘virally’? It is time to think proactive. Think B2B. Think innovative. Do you have a plan to become next-generation efficient?

So, what do we facilitate? Anything and everything, regardless of surrounding obscurities. At RDH we engage over a global spectrum.

What does it really mean to utilise ‘dynamically’? The answer? Think cyber-extensible.

We constantly expedite customer-defined super-e-business project management. If you repurpose cyber-strategically, you may find, all too soon, that you also have to grow exponentially. Without adequate action-items, e-tailors are forced to become cutting-edge. Without development, you will lack the solutions. A company that can engineer courageously will be able to cultivate defiantly in order to move aggressively forward.

Our cross-media feature set is second to none, but our blog-based channels and simple configuration are usually considered a remarkable achievement. We invariably deliver cutting-edge long-term performance. A company that can transition easily will be able to exploit opportunities with pin-point accuracy.

Imagine a combination of Dynamic HTML and X-Forms. At RDH we have come to know how to monetise each micro-opportunity. Do you have a plan of action to become e/o-branded? We think that most virtual web applications use far too many X-Forms, and not enough Java. The methodologies factor is over-distributed. We will rev up our power to deploy without diminishing our capability to upgrade. We will increase our aptitude to disintermediate without lessening our aptitude to produce. We pride ourselves not only on our feature set, but our easy-administration and easy-configuration. The M&A factor implies the power to mesh seamlessly thus leading to the capability to distribute and evolve.

What do we evolve? Anything and everything, regardless of prior obscurity! We will further disintermediate the aptitude of all dot-com syndication. Your budget for enabling should be at least one-tenth of your budget for exploiting. Our functionality is unmatched.

Think cutting-edge. Think next-generation. Think granular. But, again, don’t think all three at the same time. We will amplify your ability to deploy without decreasing your ability to re-intermediate. We apply the proverb ‘It never rains but it pours’ not only to our obfuscation trail but to our power to seize each and every opportunity. Without appropriate out-of-the-box, killer branding, subscriber communities are forced to become global. Without Total Quality Management, you will lack subscriber communities.

If all of the above seems dumbfoundingly innovative gibberish to you that’s because it is! Our final buzz-word, ‘Think open-source, as of NOW!’

Follow that!