By Dr Vasilios Silivistris

From mythology to modern psychology, narcissism encompasses more than just vanity; it can significantly impact relationships, work and overall well-being. Here’s what you should know about this complex personality trait.

What is narcissism?

Narcissism originates from the Greek myth of Narcissus, a man who fell in love with his own reflection. Today, it refers to a personality trait characterised by excessive self-focus and a craving for admiration. While everyone exhibits some degree of self-interest, narcissism becomes problematic when it consistently harms relationships, careers or emotional health.

At its most severe, narcissism is recognised as a psychological condition called Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). Clinical research indicates that NPD affects about one to two per cent of adults and is diagnosed more frequently in men than in women. Individuals with NPD often struggle with empathy and have an overwhelming need for attention and validation.

Two faces of narcissism

Narcissism manifests in different forms. Psychologists typically identify two main types:

Grandiose Narcissism: These individuals are outgoing, confident and attention-seeking. They may appear charming and ambitious, but they often prioritise their own status over others. They are generally assertive, dominant and highly competitive.

Vulnerable (or Covert) Narcissism: These individuals tend to be more reserved and introverted. Despite their shy demeanour, they still crave admiration and are sensitive to criticism, often feeling insecure or easily slighted. Vulnerable narcissists may exhibit anxiety, withdrawal or mood swings.

Both types share an unstable self-image that heavily relies on external approval, which can create challenges in personal and professional relationships.

What causes narcissism?

The origins of narcissism are complex. Research suggests it may arise from a combination of genetic, environmental and cultural factors.

Early experiences, such as inconsistent parenting, excessive praise, or emotional neglect, can influence how a person values themselves and others. Children who feel either overly special or neglected may develop strategies to protect their self-esteem that later manifest as narcissistic behaviours.

Cultural influences also play a significant role. In many Western societies, individual success, fame and self-promotion are highly valued. Social media further amplifies this by providing platforms for attention-seeking behaviour, creating new opportunities for validation and recognition.

Recognising narcissistic traits

Common signs of narcissism include:

A strong sense of entitlement – Expecting special treatment regardless of circumstances.

Lack of empathy – Difficulty understanding or caring about other people’s emotions.

Excessive need for admiration – Constantly seeking praise or validation.

Hypersensitivity to criticism – Overreacting or becoming defensive when challenged.

Manipulative behaviour – Using others to achieve personal goals or maintain control.

It is important to remember that these traits exist on a spectrum. Many individuals show some narcissistic behaviours without meeting the diagnostic criteria for a clinical disorder. Being aware of these tendencies can help prevent conflicts and enhance personal relationships.

Narcissism in relationships and society

In relationships, narcissism can lead to emotional strain. A narcissistic partner may initially appear loving but can become controlling, dismissive, or unfaithful when their need for admiration is unmet.

In leadership or politics, narcissistic traits can drive ambition and bold decision-making. While these traits can sometimes be inspiring, they may also result in self-serving or risky choices. Narcissism can influence workplace dynamics, social hierarchies and cultural values, highlighting the importance of awareness for both personal and societal well-being.

Can narcissism be changed?

Although narcissism can be deeply ingrained, change is possible. Psychotherapy and counselling can help individuals develop self-awareness, empathy and healthier ways of interacting. Practising compassion, honestly reflecting on one’s behaviour, and accepting imperfection are key steps. Building close, supportive relationships and engaging in activities that promote perspective-taking can also be beneficial.

Psychotherapy, in particular, provides a structured environment where individuals can explore the underlying causes of their narcissistic traits. Through therapy, people can recognise patterns of behaviour, improve emotional regulation and develop empathy for others. Over time, this support can reduce self-centred tendencies and foster more balanced relationships, both personally and professionally.

From my experience as a psychologist, I find that self-reflection is especially challenging for narcissists when viewed from an unflattering angle. With time, guidance, and genuine effort, people with narcissistic traits can cultivate more balanced and meaningful connections, benefiting themselves and those around them.

Narcissism exists in each of us to some degree; it is natural to seek recognition. However, when self-admiration overshadows empathy, it can harm both the individual and those around them. By understanding the signs, causes and potential strategies for addressing narcissism, we can foster healthier relationships – both with others and with ourselves. Developing self-awareness and empathy not only helps those with narcissistic traits but also strengthens the well-being of everyone around them.

Dr Vasilios Silivistris (Vasos) is a psychotherapist, counselling practitioner psychotherapycounselling.uk