Here’s how to find out if your ex is stalking you on Social Media

It happens to everyone eventually. One minute you can’t get enough of each other, and the next, you can’t wait to get away from each other. Moving on from a relationship can be difficult. Most of the time, post-breakup social media lurking is harmless. You want to be careful, though, because innocent love-lorn insta stalk can quietly become a case of actual criminal activity. Here are some tips for detecting and dealing with ex-lovers who keep stalking your social media.

Table Of Contents:

1. Why Is My Ex Stalking My Social Media?
2. How To Detect If Someone Is Quietly Spying On Your Instagram
3. Get The Upper Hand; Learn How To Spy On Any Public Instagram Account Legally
4. Social Media Sites Where You Are Vulnerable To Stalking Behaviors
5. How To Stop Your Ex From Stalking Your Instagram Page
6. What To Do When Innocent Lurking Becomes More Sinister?

Why is my ex stalking my social media?

Breakups are never easy for both parties; depending on how long you were together, you might have a lot of mutual friends. This makes it difficult to avoid each other online completely. There are a few reasons your ex might continue to quietly watch your social accounts even after you’ve broken up and started seeing other people.

1. They are still interested in a relationship. Perhaps you dumped them, and they wish they had you back or miss you. Depression is a common mental health complication that can come after a breakup which can lead to irrational behavior.
2. They are jealous of your new relationship. No matter who dumped who, sometimes people have a hard time letting go. Your ex might have always been the jealous or possessive type and is just now showing their true colors.
3. They might be feeling lonely or nostalgic. Even someone you broke up with a while back might pop in to creep on your socials from time to time. Sometimes this behavior is innocent, like a trip down memory lane.

Sometimes exes who are seeking your attention aren’t that subtle; they will like and comment on your photos repeatedly or be in your DMs constantly. Other times, they will view your content without engaging with it so that you can’t tell they are stalking you. If you’ve ever stalked an ex yourself, then you know the horror of accidentally tapping the like button on a four-year-old photo. Talk about embarrassing.

Scrolling through your photos isn’t the only stalker behavior you might see from an ex. Exes that are seeking your attention might also unfollow and then follow you again over and over. They could tag you in old photos trying to bring back good memories of the past. These tactics can be annoying at best and considered harassment at their very worst.

How to detect if someone is quietly spying on your Instagram

Unfortunately, it’s extremely difficult to know if someone is quietly scrolling your Instagram content if you have a public account. Meta, the company that owns social media titans like Facebook and Instagram, has a legal and ethical obligation to keep users’ activity mainly under wraps.

If your ex goes to your account, or any other public account for that matter, and looks at the photos and videos, nobody will be able to tell. Until they take action on some content, such as liking or commenting, they are free to lurk as much as they want. There is no metric inside Instagram that will tell you who has viewed your profile or feed content. The intent is to keep people’s interests private and make them feel safe to stay on the platform and interact with it longer.

There is one potential loophole that you could use as a workaround. For some reason, you can see who views your Instagram Stories for 24 – 48 hours, depending on what type of account you have. Inside your story insights, you can see a list of everyone that viewed your content. That’s where your cyber stalker might get tripped up. If you really want to catch them in the act, you can create a story and set it so that only certain people can see it. Eliminate everyone except your ex, and it will be super easy to see if they viewed your story because they will be the only name on the list.

At this time, there are no third-party apps that monitor this activity for you, although many are set up to fool you into thinking that they can. Stay clear of downloading apps that require your Instagram login credentials, as they will compromise your account and ultimately will not give you the information you are seeking.

Get the upper hand; Learn how to spy on any public Instagram account legally

If your ex is stalking you and you want to stalk them right back, try this low-cost service called Snoopreport. For as little as .99 cents per week, you can get a weekly report that tracks all the activity for any public account. You can see information like who they followed, what hashtags they used, what content they liked, and more. This is the perfect way to keep tabs on your ex, your current partner, or anyone else you see fit to. Snoopreport can be used for business or personal reasons, and because it only tracks public accounts, it’s totally legal.

Social media sites where you are vulnerable to stalking behaviors

You might be surprised to know that Instagram and Facebook aren’t the only social media sites your exes or other haters might be stalking you. Some smaller social sites that fly under the radar are popular for lurking and stalking.

1. LinkedIn – This social media site for professionals can reveal your new workplace, which can give a stalker plenty of location information for you as well as a hint at what your daily routine might be. They can also see other people in your industry that you are connected to and might reach out to them under false pretenses to find out additional information about you.
2. Spotify – Did you know that the music you listen to might be shared with others? Lurking on someone’s listing and playlist activity can give you cues to their moods and emotions.
3. Venmo – If you were linked up on Venmo, then your ex can still see your transactions. This gives them a way to potentially see who you’ve been hanging out with and what you’ve been doing. Many people have their Venmo activity set to public or friends, but you can always go into your settings and change this to private if it becomes an issue.

How to stop your ex from stalking your Instagram page

If you’ve come to realize that your ex is spending too much time checking up on you through social media, there are some immediate steps you can take to give yourself peace of mind.

First, change your social media profile from public to private. This can always be done under your account settings. Don’t forget the smaller sites like the ones we mentioned above. There are also privacy settings on YouTube, Twitter, and Tumblr.

Next, disable geotagging on all of your posts. This should be done even if your account is public. Tagging your exact location can be very dangerous. On some platforms, such as Facebook, you can keep your friend’s list private. You can also change your name and photo on social media if the situation gets more serious.

Finally, once your account is private, be very selective about who you invite in. Stalkers are known for making fake accounts and going so far as to follow your friends first to make their account look more legitimate.

What to do when innocent lurking becomes more sinister?

During a worldwide survey recently, 36% of respondents said they had stalked their ex or a current partner on social media. Just because it’s common doesn’t mean it is safe or normal. While checking up on an old flame once or twice doesn’t sound so bad, daily harassment can quickly get out of hand and become a sticky situation.

If your ex is stalking you in an unhealthy way, interfering with your life, causing you panic, or putting you in danger, it’s time to contact the local police. Stalking is a crime, and you will need to document it in order to get protection.

Here are a few signs that your ex’s stalking is getting out of control:

1. They won’t stop after you have asked them to.
2. They show up at places you are when not invited or told.
3. They send you unwanted messages, texts, or DMs.
4. They spread rumors or false information about you online.
5. They use your passwords to access your accounts.
6. They try to gather information on you from other people.

Just in case, here is a resource that lists the stalking laws in all 50 states. Make sure to read up on what your state’s laws and protections are.