2025 appears destined to become the Year of the Political Saviours. Just a few days into the New Year, a third pretender has stepped forward offering to save Kyproulla from corruption, scandals, incompetence, the crisis of institutions, crime and the threat of a Cyprob settlement.
After Odysseas Michaelides and Archbishop Georgios, an ex officio saviour, legal eagle Christos Clerides announced in a post on Facebook that “given the facts, my return to politics is a given, along with others who embrace the vision of Democratic Change.”
Clerides, who was the man in the dark shades posing behind Odysseas outside the court – he was the alpha male of the defence team – is no stranger to politics, having been elected to parliament with the ultra-nationalist New Horizons party back in 2001 and making his name campaigning against the satanic Annan plan in 2004.
He unsuccessfully stood another two times for a parliamentary seat – with Euroko in 2006 and Disy in 2011 – voters having had enough of him. He did win one election since then, voted president of the Bar Association in 2020. He failed in his bid for re-election in 2023, creating the impression that he is a one-term wonder.
People just do not vote for Clerides a second time, which may explain his second coming as a self-declared political saviour – one who will save rather than serve us.
THE FACEBOOK post that announced the second coming, under the title ‘Democratic Change’, throws in a phrase in English – “Cyprus once again a bad joke” – before listing everything that is wrong with poor old Kyproulla which has “mediocrities everywhere leading Cyprus to stagnation; in name European.”
Clerides finds fault with the antiquated laws, the justice system, state services, institutions, state-fed rulers, education, natural gas (“the biggest joke of the century”), banking (“a duopoly”), defence (“an unfortified state”). He also had a funny bit saying, “Industry Agriculture, thankfully we sell sea and sun and hypocrisy with success.”
And of course, there is the Cyprob – “the mockery continues” – for the saviour to deal with. BBF with political equality “was rejected with a resounding NO” but now Anastasiades (?) and Christodoulides “are pushing the same coin as Guterres.” He even brought up Lord Hannay, who had allegedly said they “would keep bringing back the Annan plan until we accept it,” before ruefully concluding: “The HUMAN RIGHTS SOLUTION (sic) is not being pursued.”
This is the human rights solution marketed by many lawyers, including Clerides, after the 2004 referendum, when they encouraged refugees to take action against Turkey at the ECHR, with embarrassing results. The lawyers still did well out of this fiasco, as they did not offer their services pro bono.
As for the human rights solution, I am sure the saviour will deliver it, in his second coming.
LEADING saviour, Odysseas, meanwhile has reportedly fallen out with his one-time disciple, Akel battleaxe Irini Charalambidou, who also suffers from saviour delusion.
She had been urging him to set up a party to contest next year’s parliamentary elections, but Odysseas, pooh-poohed the idea as he is solely interested in the presidency and, quite rightly, does not want the hassle of party politics.
The ultra-ambitious, Charalambidou, however, needs a party because she would be ineligible to stand for the commies, as she would have served the maximum two terms by 2026. Without a parliamentary seat she would have no role and no platform for fighting corruption.
Her only saviour could be Clerides if he decides to set up a political party. He already has a name – Democratic Change – and he is smart enough to know that nobody would listen to him if he does not establish some vehicle for his salvation act.
As for Odysseas, it is said that the comrades have played a role in turning him off the idea of a party, as they do not want him and Irini taking Akel votes in 2026, by hinting they would not rule out talking to him about the possibility of backing his presidential candidacy.
OUR ESTABLISHMENT has learned that the legendary construction company of Cyprus, J&P (Joannou and Paraskevaides), has ceased to exist. The brand, known to everyone in Kyproulla, had remained in existence, for several years after it suspended most of its operations, leaving thousands of staff unpaid for months in Saudi Arabia.
But at the end of last year, even the brand has gone. You can see this at the J&P offices in Vyronos Avenue in Nicosia. The bold black letter on a yellow background have now been replaced by ‘GP’, under which is written, by way of explanation, ‘George Paraskevaides’.
The split of Kyproulla’s most famous and wealthiest business partnership was finalised at big law firm in Ireland which was given the ultra-lucrative job of brokering the not-so-velvet divorce. The original partners, George Paraskevaides and Stelios Joannou passed away some time ago, so the divorce negotiations were between their respective offspring.
It is just a reminder that nothing is forever in this life, with the possible exception of the Cyprob. People’s stupidity is certainly forever, but I will not go into that.
I READ in Politis that Prezniktwo got a lot of stick from his fellow Paphites when he visited his birthplace during the holiday period to schmooze with his fellow villagers.
According to Politis, “wherever he went he heard strong complaints because he had taken down Makarios (picture) from his office in the presidential palace.” One good thing he did, enraged his fellow Paphites, who still consider Mak not just a saviour but something of a saint, despite losing a third of the country’s territory while he was prez.
Perhaps it is because the loss of a third of the country was quite beneficial to Paphites who saw their worthless scrublands increase geometrically in value.
Apparently, government spokesman, Mini Me, who is also Paphite, got even more abuse than his boss about the removal of Makarios when he returned to Paphos during the holidays.
SPEAKING of Mini Me, he has developed quite a knack for contradicting himself in a statement. On Friday, after the council of ministers meeting, he was asked whether a date had been set for the meeting between the prez and Ersin Tatar and he replied:
“We are ready, as the President of the Republic has stated, for the meeting about the opening of the crossing points, to take place even tomorrow.” He then said that the prez had proposed “three specific dates” to Tatar for the meeting. Why did he propose three specific dates, if he is ready to meet him even tomorrow?
If he is ready to meet “even tomorrow” why had he proposed three specific dates, which would suggest only on three days in January was he prepared to meet “even tomorrow.”
A RECORD number of drug seizures were reported by the police in 2024, which were up by 33 per cent on the previous year when 600kg of drugs were seized. In 2024 the total amount seized was 818kg. In top position was marijuana accounting for 686kg with cocaine in second spot with 54kg.
Considering that the Drug Squad seizes only a small proportion of the drugs being imported, there must be very heavy use of drugs in Kyproulla. The scare campaigns, over the years by the cops, journalists and other do-gooders, who tried to frighten youths off drugs with lies and exaggerations about drug use (marijuana was routinely referred to as ‘white death’ or ‘slow death’ even though nobody died from smoking it) obviously did not work.
Neither did the zero-tolerance approach and tough sentences imposed on users. In the eighties and nineties judges would impose custodial sentences on youngsters for possession of a few grammes of weed. Now, it appears, everyone is having a joint or two. If 686kg of marijuana were seized, it would be safe to deduce that we are importing more than a tonne of the stuff each year and this because there is demand for it.
I suspect everyone is getting high in order not to think about corruption, the crisis of institutions, the scandals and the mediocrities running Kyproulla. If one of our prospective saviours takes over and starts cleaning up the country, I am certain drug use will be drastically reduced, because people will no longer need artificial means to be happy.
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