‘It’s not just in Cyprus we don’t tell our grandmothers!’

Circles of Belonging: New initiative launches healing circles for the island’s rainbow women

Belonging is a fundamental human need. Sometimes it is as simple as joining a book club, a knitting group, or a cosplay party. Other times, it stems from a deeper need to find people who share similar experiences: single parenthood, grief, or sexual orientation. In Cyprus, two women have launched a new initiative to create a community for LGBTQIA+ women: Rainbow Women Healing Circles.

Activism, festivals, parades, meetings, awareness campaigns and creative events have brought LGBTQIA+ rights and lifestyle into focus in recent years. But beneath the progress, still lies a desire for something more personal – spaces to feel, process and connect. This is why the Rainbow Women Healing Circles were launched, facilitated by queer coaches Christina Lefkati and Nikoletta Thomaidou and promoted with the support of ACCEPT Cyprus. After an initial launch event, the due is now starting a series of monthly circles in English for women in the community.

“When I first returned to Cyprus,” says Nikoletta, who spent her 20s in the UK and France, “I felt a little lonely, like there was no active queer community. Clubbing events and parties existed, but were not what I was looking for. I wanted deeper conversations and to find my people because they would understand me better.”

“We craved a place to gather quietly, in our feminine, without performance,” adds Christina. “There are a lot of LGBTQIA+ fun events out there, and they’re great for bringing people together in a casual way, but there is rarely depth where you can share vulnerabilities and realise ‘oh, there are others that feel the way I do’. Because that’s where you create real connections, andthis is what creates a community for me.”

They took note of their own needs as queer women living in Cyprus and, using their coaching backgrounds, decided to create what they felt was a missing piece in the community: a space where women can come together to not just celebrate their rainbow self but acknowledge its challenges and find support and empowerment in one another.

And it is not just in Cyprus that the community needs this kind of support. “I work with queer women internationally,” says Nikoletta, “I have clients in Canada, Romania, Pakistan and England, and in general, we all share the same silence and carry the same weight of being queer in this society.”

Even in more open-minded countries, limitations exist, she adds recalling an encounter in Germany this summer. “I met a queer woman and she told me her town is rather conservative, when I thought the whole country was open. She’d told her dad she is gay, but not her grandmother, and I thought ‘wow, it’s not just in Cyprus that we don’t tell our grandmothers!”

And that is an important reason Christina and Nikoletta started the circles. “For this generation and the next to be more open and confident in who they are, not just okay with their identity but love it,” they say.

The events aim to be therapeutic-centred gatherings open to all – Greek-and-Turkish Cypriots, expats, transgender women, lesbians and anyone who labels themselves as a rainbow woman. Already, many bisexual and pansexual women have joined the social events and the first healing circle, “and that’s a point we want to make – If you have a boyfriend right now, it doesn’t mean you cannot come to the events. If you identify as a rainbow woman, then you are welcome.”

“Sexuality is quite fluid anyway,” adds Christina, “it can change over time, and after all, we discover ourselves, one piece at a time.”

Their events use a blend of techniques such as coaching guidance, journaling, visualisation exercises, tapping and energy work to address topics rainbow women experience. Christina is an EFT Tapping practitioner and trauma-informed therapeutic coach, while Nikoletta is a coach and hypnotherapist for queer women.

The element of sitting in a circle, usually close to nature, is important too and adds an ancestral layer to the gatherings. Their popularity may make them seem like a new-age phenomenon, yet historically, women have always gathered like this.

“Women used to be very supportive of one another. They would sit around a table and just share. So much of that has been lost now with everyone working so much,” says Christina. “Sometimes emotions are not so embraced, but more judged when expressed. So, bringing the circles back can return their power to women.”

Nikoletta agrees and adds that all humans want is to feel part of a tribe. “Since the beginning of time, people have always wanted belonging. A lot of us [in the rainbow community] are not part of our family tribe or close to them, and these circles offer the opportunity to drop your mask and just be. We want to give women a place where they can take space, be seen and be heard.”

At the circles, different issues are addressed each time. The series started by exploring how participants feel about their rainbow self. “We listen to issues people share and make sure to address them in the next circle, so the topics are born from the community’s needs. We always try to find ways for them to find their power and transmute those emotions into something positive.”

The next circles will focus on ‘Shame and Being Seen’, which will happen on October 18 in Zygi, then ‘Fear and the Courage to Show Up’ on November 8 and ‘Self-Compassion and Acceptance’ on December 13.

“We knew we needed a circle for visibility because we had all agreed that it feels a little bit uncomfortable holding our partner’s hand in public, so we decided to explore it and see how we can feel better about it,” explains Nikoletta.

In between the monthly healing circles, the initiative hosts social events where the women can simply get together for a hike or a game of paddle to enhance the community feeling. And for those who might be worried about confidentiality, Christina and Nikoletta create a sense of thoughtful privacy. They do not share names or photos from the events and keep participants to just ten people to maintain the intimacy.

“We know it’s important for these spaces to exist and don’t want people to worry about this. Our aim is to share openly without being scared or judged,” Christina and Nikoletta conclude. “This is a space where, for the first time, all parts of you are welcome.”

Find details on Rainbow Women Healing Circles and next events at @wellnessstate.healing, @liberatedera