Healthy boundaries: the reasons why people fail to set them

This video is meant to expand your general knowledge about living a healthy life and is NOT a substitute for seeking medical advice. Please consult with your doctor before making changes in your health practices, diet and self-care.

In this first video in a three-part series, licensed marriage and family therapist Emma McAdam, host of the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube channel, discusses the key reasons why people avoid setting ‘healthy’ or ‘appropriate’ boundaries:

• They don’t want to be seen as ‘mean’ by the other party
• They want to avoid feeling the discomfort of guilt or shame
• They don’t want to be criticised or ‘punished’ by the other party

This correlates with the common association that saying ‘no’ is unfriendly/hostile behaviour, while saying ‘yes’ is friendly/loving.

Yet, as McAdam demonstrates, these are false associations to make, and could just as easily be reversed in the right context.

In fact, the ‘hard love’ of saying ‘no’ to people and standing our ground on issues that matter, can actually prove beneficial to both parties in the long-term.

View the original video here.

Good Living is the Cyprus Mail’s portal of curated content from across the internet, showcasing local and global ideas, cultural highlights, and scientific and technological developments to inspire a sustainable life.