ALL KYPROULLA is laughing and mocking the former Disy big-wig and deputy Nikos Tornaritis for accepting the most ludicrous post ever thought up by a Prez to reward one of his loyal poodles. 

The piss-taking on social media reached epidemic proportions from the moment the council of ministers approved the appointment of Tornaritis as the ‘Presidential Envoy for the Cyprus Problem in Africa and Asia’.

They may as well have called the post ‘Pseudo-role for has-been politician desperate to have an official title that will enable him to feel important.’ It is a post tailor-made for losers demanding the Prez reward them for their loyalty. A pity we do not have a House of Lords.

It is a surprise that everyone is laughing at Tornaritis when the person who deserves to be ridiculed is the Prez who thought of this joke post, which will involve Tornaritis boring some totally disinterested, lowly foreign ministry official in Somalia, Malawi, Burkina Faso, Laos or Cambodia about Turkish intransigence that is preventing progress in the Cyprob.

With a total of about 100 countries in Africa and Asia the Prez may have to lease a private jet for the presidential envoy to enlighten both continents about the Cyprob.

WE LAUGH, but if you like travelling, this is a dream job. The taxpayer will pick up the bill for your air fares, five-star accommodation and a couple of hundred euro per diem so you can travel to anywhere you choose in Asia and Africa.

And the actual work involved will be a half-hour meeting with some inconsequential, low-ranking official that will be ordered to see you as a courtesy. He or she would also give you tips about the best restaurants and places to visit.

If there is a post for Presidential Envoy for the Cyprus Problem in South America on offer, I would be very tempted to take an oath of allegiance to the Prez in order to land such a job as I would love to brief the people of Peru and Brazil about the Cyprob.

AT THE HEART of the joke is Tornaritis’ burning desire to secure a ministerial job. This, according to people close to him, was his all-consuming ambition even when he was a member of parliament and in the Disy leadership team.

Nik I was never a fan, so there was no ministry for him in the 10 years of Disy rule. Perhaps because of bitterness and resentment Tornaritis became Christodoulides’ fifth columnist in Disy before the presidential election, although he was member of the Averof campaign staff, and carried on performing this treacherous role until this week.

I suspect the Prez would have preferred his not-so-secret agent to have stayed at Disy, undermining Annita, causing divisions that Phil could gloat about and recruiting Disy members for the re-election drive.

Tornaritis wanted an official title and as he was not going to be given a ministry the Prez had to invent an important sounding, but very silly role for him.

SUCH was the negative publicity generated, you half-expected the Prez to say he was in the dark about the appointment as he had been regarding the purchase of the 600 grand limo.

On the contrary, he defended the appointment, saying it served no electoral expediency, which was probably not far from the truth. He had nothing to gain from this apart from ending Tornaritis’ constant whining over the fact that his loyalty was not rewarded with an appointment.

Speaking on Omega TV, Tornaritis came up with some compelling arguments for his appointment. He was invited by the Prez because of the experience he has. “There should be specialist representatives that would work day and night for our country,” he said.

Before the announcement of his role as Africa/Asia envoy, Tornaritis said he informed Annita and the leadership of the party and “the big majority, congratulated me, said the position is suitable for me and I will bring results for our country.”

The liberation of Kyproulla goes through Africa and the Far East.

PREZ NIK and Tufan Erhurman had their final meeting on Thursday, before heading to the Big Apple for the 81st General Assembly of the UN, where each will be seen for 10 minutes by the UNSG, Antonio Guterres and pretend they are players in the international stage.

Guterres made it very clear in a news conference a few days ago that he would not be meeting the two leaders together in New York nor was the 5+1 meeting that our Prez has been clamoring for.

This was because the two disobedient leaders had not done any of the homework they had been assigned by Guterres, when he met them two months earlier. “There is still much work to be done,” he said at the news conference

Instead of focusing on doing the homework, like agreeing on the CBMs Guterres had proposed, agreeing on methodology and even opening a crossing point or two, our Prez presented new ideas at the meeting.

These new ideas, which have not been revealed, will ensure the UNSG will not call the 5+1 meeting our Prez so desperately wants. 

WHEN she was here, UNSG’s personal envoy Maria Angela Holguin was complaining that the Prez was regularly coming up with new ideas so that he would not have to discuss the issues proposed by Guterres.

So, the new ideas presented on Thursday were nothing new, at least tactically speaking. They are part of his tactics, most probably suggested by national security advisor Tasos Tzionis, who was the most loyal disciple of Ethnarch Tassos and has an expertise in ensuring negotiations lead nowhere.

My question is: why do these guys not have the sincerity to say, ‘we do not want a settlement because we do not trust the Turks and we do not want to share power with the Turkish Cypriots,’ and instead engage in all this theatre of the absurd?

Even if the Prez takes such an honest approach, Tornaritis could remain his Cyprob envoy, informing Asian and African countries that our efforts to reunify the country are blocked by Turkish intransigence.

PREZNIKTWO has inaugurated a new method of self-promotion. Whenever there is a piece of good news to announce he makes a short video of himself announcing it. 

He does not allow ministers to take the sole credit for anything positive that happens, insisting that he will be the bringer of good tidings. Last Sunday he starred in a video to inform us about two new government housing schemes, even though they had been announced a few days earlier by the interior minister.

The Sunday before he announced the change of criteria for receiving child benefit, a change that would increase the number of people eligible.

On Saturday he felt duty-bound to boast about “another significant economic landmark” – the upgrading of Kyproulla’s credit rating from ‘A-’ to ‘A’ by Standard and Poor’s. Finance Minister Makis Keravnos had done his own video about the same matter an hour earlier, but there was no way he would be allowed to take all glory for himself.

In Kyproulla everything good that happens is because of one man and we will never be allowed to forget it. And the videos will prove it.

LOVE the idea that the centre of regional geostrategic importance could soon become a regional centre of energy distribution.

Although our government has been doing everything it can to stop the Great Sea Interconnector from materialising, even falling out with the Greek government for a brief spell, it is now talking of an interconnector with Lebanon, which does not even have a functioning national grid.

We read this week that there are discussion about sending power from our RES to Lebanon via sub-sea cable and it was not April 1. A week earlier, we were informed that Israel is also interested in an interconnection. In the end we will be supplying the region with electricity even though in the summer we barely have enough for our own needs.

There was no video of the Prez announcing this so it must still be at a very early stage.