How do you rate a luxury stay? And is Cyprus in a position to compete?

By Philippa Tracy

Anyone who watches enough Netflix, like me, will be sure to have seen the latest offering from Team Sussex: With Love, Meghan. Basically, Meghan Markle’s new lifestyle show; a not-quite Martha Stewart-esque routine, in which she attempts to share her “good vibes” and tips on how to make her house guests feel looked after and cared for. This includes harvesting her own honey for a three-layered honey-lemon cake with berries, providing late night snacks, including home-made truffle popcorn and prepping the guest room with a concoction of bath salts, to include Himalayan pink sea salt, arnica and lavender oil. All this in the first episode! And there is still time to cook and melt some beeswax to make scented candles, with the guest. Sounds like a luxury travel experience to me; if you could have all of it without the need to cook, or engage with the host.

What is a luxury travel experience anyway? And do you always get it in a five-star hotel in Cyprus? Do hotel rankings actually mean anything? I spent a weekend in Paphos recently in the five-star Venus Beach. The question of what it means to be a five-star hotel naturally sprang to mind on arrival, as I negotiated the barrier at the entrance without a room-card, and then tried to find a parking space.

When I got inside the hotel, the staff were very polite and the room itself was spacious, the bed comfortable and the price pretty reasonable via booking.com. Basically, much the same as a couple of nights in a holiday resort on the Isle of Wight. I mention it because Ventnor, on the Isle of Wight, with its botanical gardens and Mediterranean microclimate, was the closest I got to a swanky weekend away experience in my childhood and I remember it well.

These days, as a fully grown and slightly older adult, I have been lucky enough to have enjoyed rather more luxurious travel experiences than the mind-numbing so-called fun and entertainment of the holiday camps of my youth. Quite a few of them more upmarket experiences in Cyprus over the years.

And while Cyprus is not always the cheapest holiday destination, if coming from somewhere like the UK, it attracts many hundreds of thousands of visitors all year round, even in the winter. Many Brits certainly seem to think it is worth the money to escape the high heating bills and the awful winter climate back home.

In recent years, many hotels in Cyprus have been upgraded to keep improving competitiveness. Nissi Beach certainly looks a lot more exclusive than it was when I first visited in the late 1980s.

Only last week, general director of the Cyprus Hoteliers Association (Pasyxe) Christos Angelides expressed “cautious optimism” for 2025. Which is all very good news for the tourist industry. But what kind of experiences do five-star hotels in Cyprus offer?

Most people associate five-star with luxury or even super-luxury. So, what makes a five-star experience luxury? According to the UK ratings from the AA, this is as much about the social skills and language skills of the staff as having a 24-hour reception, valet parking, unobtrusive table service and an extensive choice of food for every meal.

Not to forget freshly squeezed juice and free-range eggs at breakfast, as well as multiple power sockets, quality bed linen and a range of towels in the room. The European Hotelstars Union also includes “ironing, shoe shine and sewing service” as part of the five-star service.

However, there is no universal star-rating system that applies to all EU countries. And Cyprus is not a member of the HotelStars Union. So, if there is no consistent approach worldwide, and ratings are often determined by various organisations, including government tourism boards, why pay so much attention to hotel star ratings? Surely, it is the customer experience, and reviews, that matter more?

According to research by the Institute attached to the Greek Tourism Confederation, Cyprus hotels rank pretty highly for tourist satisfaction. In a survey of six Mediterranean destinations, Cyprus sat second from top, just below Greece. So how was my recent five-star stay in Paphos?

In terms of customer satisfaction, I deem it a luxury five-star service when the staff bring you iced towels round the pool in the summer and serve you drinks without having to leave the lounger, as I know they do at the Grecian Park. On the other hand, things that really have annoyed me at hotels over the years: having to compete for sun-loungers, sun-loungers being too close to other guests and, in general, other people’s children. Other than that, I am really quite easily pleased.

Most five-star hotels have a gym and a spa, including the Venus Beach. That doesn’t really do it for me, though, as it’s not a top priority. And frankly, how much time do you need to spend in the hotel to actually enjoy such facilities? I can see the attraction if you’re staying for a month. But for one night?

On my recent trip, I didn’t have time to sit round the pool and it wasn’t quite hot enough, so I have no idea about iced towels at the Venus Beach. I was in Paphos to watch the marathon, as my son was running. Getting up at 5am on the Sunday morning to drop him at the harbour allowed me to confirm the hotel did have someone on the front desk all night. This is always reassuring when trying to get back in at the crack of dawn. I did get back in and managed some sleep before breakfast, which was a rather grand buffet. I have no idea if the scrambled eggs were free-range. And if there was any freshly squeezed juice, I didn’t spot it. I was too busy staring at the two women on the table next to me who thought it was acceptable to come to breakfast in their silky pyjamas.

By the time, I went upstairs and ordered a real coffee to enjoy with a view, overlooking the pool and the sea, my son called with a knee injury. His marathon was over and so was my luxury weekend away. Not too long after it started. In short, no truffle popcorn or Himalayan bath salts. In fact, no bath but a very nice shower. Super helpful staff and a very tasty breakfast too. Not sure how it compares to Prince Harry’s, who according to the Duchess makes great scrambled eggs.

It was a very enjoyable, if brief luxury experience, that I would be happy to repeat. But I am always up for a weekend away, and I am not too fussy. So let’s just say, if Meghan was running a hotel in Cyprus, I’d be there too!