THE COFFEESHOP was closed for Easter when Politis published the story about Black Cube, the Israeli company which was behind the production of the video in which associates of the Prez explained on camera how investors can pay their way into the presidential palace.

Black Cube, which has been around for 15 years, describes itself as “the top information company in the world” and is made up of people who had served in the intelligence services of Israel. According to the Politis report, the source of which could only have been the government, Black Cube gave all 30 hours of raw footage it had to the government.

When the story appeared 10 days ago, Black Cube issued a statement which can only be described as total bullshit. It said that it was “proud to have uncovered corruption carried out by Cyfield in Cyprus and to help facilitate a cleaner business environment”.  

The bullshit did not end there. The spooks also said that Black Cube had “engaged with the Cypriot authorities and is confident they will reach the truth and bring those responsible to justice”.

And if the authorities do not bring those responsible to justice and fail to clean up the business environment what will these crusading anti-corruption fighters do? Make another video?

IT IS OBVIOUS that Black Cube, which engages in clandestine operations for big money, engaged with the Cypriot authorities, because their announcement was a clear attempt at a whitewash of the government.

The only corruption it exposed, it said, was by Cyfield. The CEO of the construction firm Giorgos Chrysochos was filmed boasting that he contributed some 250 grand to the government every year, for good relations and that he was in very frequent contact with the Prez, thanks to his generosity.

There was no mention of the former energy minister Giorgos Lakkotrypis who said on camera that the Prez during the election campaign was accepting money contributions under the table in cash, which was a blatant violation of the election law and made him hostage to his secret donors. Nor was it corrupt for the Prez’s chief of staff to tell investors to make contributions to the first lady’s social support agency for access to the numero uno.

Black Cube, probably at the behest of the Prez’s good buddy Bibi, was helping the Prez create a new narrative for video gate in which only the awful businessman Chrysochos was exposed for corruption. By contrast, Lakkotrypis who was ready to take cash under the table for the Prez was a model of incorruptibility, like his boss.

THE NEW narrative is a big departure from the original one that claimed Kyproulla was a target of a hybrid war, with the government indicating that Mother Russia may have been behind it.

But now we are to believe that Black Cube was paid to expose Kyproulla corruption by a private company and not a foreign state as our government originally claimed. This is what Black Cube said, but this is as believable as its pride in exposing corruption in Kyproulla.

Why would any private company pay a specialist in covert, destabilisation operations to expose the corruption of the government. This is what the voiceover of the video was saying. It never said that its target was exclusively Cyfield. If it were, why was Lakkotrypis and the Prez’s relative also included in the video and the Prez targeted?

Black Cube focused on Chrysochos because its idiotic claim that its work was commissioned by a private company would be more credible. What private company would have paid hundreds of thousands of bucks to the Israelis to embarrass our government. What would it have to gain?

Not to mention that the Russian government could have used a private company as a front in order to hire the services of the Israelis.

MORE WORRYING is that the whole episode appears to have ended amicably. There is no other explanation for Black Cube handing all the raw footage to our government. The 30 hours of footage belonged to its client and the only reason it delivered it to the government is because its client gave it the go-ahead.

We can only speculate that the client, who may have had even more compromising film footage, may have got what it wanted from the Prez on the understanding that there would be no more revelations. If the Prez starts pandering to the Putin regime, like raising the issue of the British Bases – a cause always championed by Russia – it might be an indication we have returned to our principled mother’s warm embrace.

Of course, it could be a complete coincidence that the issue of the bases was raised a couple of weeks before all the video gate footage was delivered to the government.  

APOLOGIES for sounding a bit conspiratorial but we have all been affected by the Sandy saga, which refuses to go away. In the last three weeks we have all become Sandinistas, talking about a woman who has attained celebrity status without any of the public having ever seen her face.

Our establishment, as a tribute to her faceless celebrity, has named a cocktail after her – the Sandy Sour, made with zivania, lime, angostura bitters and crushed ice. If she came out of hiding and decided to make a public appearance, she would fill the biggest theatre in Kyproulla with tickets at premium prices

Everyone would like to see what she looks like, whether she is pretty, what her voice sounds like, her body language, if only to decide whether she is a raving lunatic, an introvert, a mischievous gossip or a femme fatale. One thing is certain she has put in the shade that attention-seeking, Facebook nutcase Annie Alexoui by staying in hiding. That is quite something and why we are all Sandinistas today.

ARCHBISHOP Georgios in his Easter message reminded everyone that he is to the right of far-right Elam, not to mention his lack of touch with reality.

“If today we stop fighting and accept the crucifixion, we will be driven to our final national death,” he warned, making you wonder where he has been living the last 50 years. Cypriots stopped the fight Georgios was speaking about many decades ago, the only thing they are fighting for now is for a state job, a big SUV and maximum moolah by any means.

“The resurrection of Christ confirms to us that the day of our own resurrection will also arrive,” he said because “injustice cannot prevail forever.” This was an answer to those who lost their courage and hope. It was an answer to “some who call on us to surrender to our fate, that is, to make permanent, to legalise the crucifixion of our country and its permanent stay in the grave.”

Sorry to have to say this, but Georgios is making mockery of what our Prez has been telling us about Kyproulla. How can we have an upgraded strategic role in the world, lead the EU, be a regional pillar of stability if we are in the grave? Despite their Elamite politics their message is quite different.

THREE cheers for the chief of police with the funny name, Themistos Arnaoutis, for wounding the fragile ego of a self-regarding hack. The hack, Phil’s Fanis Makrides was so offended by Themistos that he not only wrote about his behaviour but also used an appearance on a radio show to have a moan.

While the chief said he would carry on working “with absolute respect for institutions and society”, he “did not respect the journalists, the representatives of society that are pledged to serving the public interest”, wrote Makrides.

The chief’s sin? He made a statement that lasted two-and-a-half minutes “and then departed in a showy way, refusing to answer a journalist’s question”, wrote the representative of society pledged to serving the public interest.