THE WAY THINGS ARE

Critical thinking doesn’t mean teaching children selected influences the teacher either approves or disapproves of. It means giving unbiased information and allowing a child to process, question and make up their own mind. If belief is strong and fair, it will stand up to scrutiny, and hopefully be tolerant of the beliefs of others; religious extremism is divisive and dangerous.

Time and new laws have changed society, staid attitudes also need to change. Jesus taught values at odds with the accepted norms, and the religious authorities of his day. Yet some Christians today select the lessons he taught that suit their mentality and ignore inconvenient ones such as render to Caesar his dues and to God what’s his: separation of faith and state.

There’s an old lady near me who hands out Jehovah Witness magazines. I accept courteously because I respect her age and her truth as I expect others to respect mine. When she tries to convince me that hers is the only true path to God, I politely disengage.

As a young Roman Catholic in the UK, I was president of a praesidium of The Legion of Mary. We went door to door offering salvation wrapped up in our exclusive God package. We weren’t aggressive but felt sure we were superior, brainwashed as children into believing from catechism classes that only baptised RCs would enter paradise, the rest were doomed. The sad thing was, we believed it.

One of my visits was to an elderly former opera singer who had a sister with Downs Syndrome who I sat with so the elder could be free for a few hours. She had an amazing collection of classical music and books, and time there was very pleasant. When they moved to Kent, she gave me her LPs of the Brandenburg Concertos, now gone, and an old book of Tennyson’s poems I still treasure. We never talked religion.

Another was a former ballerina. Given my love of ballet, we got on well. She was alone, widowed, bed-ridden, her daughter died tragically young. She was paralysed, dependent on state caregivers and people like me who wanted to help, but mostly she needed company. One day I found her with a terribly bruised face and swollen eyes. A thief had broken in, beat her up asking where she had her cash. Her home should have illustrated how poor she was. But he threw her off her bed, left her on the floor on a winter night as he searched her bedding. She lay there until the council help found her at death’s door, she survived.

We never discussed religion, I was just offering help where needed, a lesson also taught me by my Catholic mother. Religion is taught in state schools here as it is in Irish state schools. Religious instruction should be geared towards those who believe in it and want it as a separate lesson, optional for those who don’t.

Time has changed both my islands with many non-Christians among the varied faiths to which new arrivals adhere. They too, should respect the faith of those whose land offers work or sanctuary. Orthodox youngsters in state schools in Cyprus, in the vital years before leaving school, are still given hours of religious instruction. Surely, whatever is needed for a moral compass in life should already be in place from earlier years.

Youngsters are expected to ingest a tolerance shown by Christ to outcasts of his day: judge not and you won’t be judged, let he who is without sin cast the first stone, while witnessing its absence in some of those preaching his timeless lessons to them.

Belief in a divine entity enriches life for millions. Others prefer to find a spirituality of their own. Teenagers grappling with discovering their identities need mental space and understanding not condemnation or imposed guilt meant to stifle self-honesty. Democracy doesn’t only mean free voting rights or freedom of speech, it means freedom to choose.

Your personal truth is yours and even with well-intended sharing, leave others to find theirs.