Tales from the Coffeeshop: Return of the demented dictatorship of Comrade Tof
MANY claim that the election of Nik II would be a continuation of the rule of Nik I, the only difference being the beard. The dismal reality is that the ...
Tales from the coffeeshop: In times of crisis, a role for Cyprus
DELUSIONS of world importance have always been strong at the centre of the universe, also known as Kyproulla, and they inevitably surfaced as soon as foreigners leaving Israel began using ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Audit office is now the custodian of diplomatic ethics
THE POOR guy had been in his new post just four days before he became the target of a character assassination attempt by the media.
Stavros Avgoustides took over as ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Presidential surrender to whims of our real ruler
THE OTHER day I found myself almost feeling a certain degree of sympathy for our Prez – the sort of sympathy you feel instinctively for someone who is being bullied and ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Virtuous One exposes solidarity of parasites
THE ENGLISH translation of the first name of the deputy government spokesperson, Doxa Komodromou, is ‘glory,’ which is rather unfortunate considering she did not cover herself in glory with her ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Sensitive one man show talks to society
NOW WE know why our bearded Prez never turns down an invitation to be the guest of honour at an event. It is not because he hates office work, like ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Racists take principled stance on delivery drivers
WHAT is our world coming to when the party that has based its steady growth on xenophobia and racist rhetoric expels one of its municipal councilors for being racist? It ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Are anti-migrant activists now ready to man garbage trucks?
IN KYPROULLA we have managed to give overt racists a veneer of respectability by referring to them as ‘anti-migration’ activists and their violent, hate-filled protests as ‘anti-migration’ gatherings. Theirs is ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Marathon brainstorming and multi-dimensional hot air
THE MILLION-dollar question that nobody has asked and therefore has not been answered is whether the beard will be a permanent feature on the Prez’s boyish face or whether ...
Tales from the coffeeshop: Pyla incident pays goody two shoes policy back in spades
THE VIOLENT scrap between the Turks and a dozen Brit and Slovak men from Unficyp was a great way to wake us up from our August slumber. Something exciting happened, ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: ‘Jho Low’ the king of the Cypriot Twitterati
CONGRATULATIONS to the unknown Twitterer (though I’m not sure what to call them since the name change) who goes by the name of Jho Low, for his commendable shit-stirring ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Another Hellenic CEO bites the dust
IT DID NOT take long for the odious bank employees union Etyk to engage in self-righteous triumphalism, tinged with the familiar xenophobia, over the departure of the Hellenic Bank CEO, “...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Barbie branding and poor sartorial choices
A COUPLE of weeks ago the “internationally-acclaimed, award-winning Cypriot artist Alexia” performed her “conceptual live-arts culturalwork (sic) Kypris” in the street between the Cyprus museum and what was once called ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Black anniversary cliches fall like torrential rain
THE EUROASIA Interconnector that will link our electricity grid with that of Israel and Greece has run out of funds and the project promoter is seeking assistance from the state ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Whatever you do, don’t mention the gambling
KYPROULLA’S crème de la crème attended the glitzy, grand opening of City of Dreams Mediterranean on Tuesday evening, at which they were entertained by the Cyprus Symphony ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Can we, can’t we buy petrol from the north?
IT IS STILL unclear whether the report about customs officials checking how much petrol is in a car crossing north actually happened or was a fabrication aimed at frightening people ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Triumphs rain down on umbrella diplomacy
WE HAVE lost count of the number of triumphs we have recorded on paper, thanks to the courageous battles fought by our warrior diplomats all over the world, often in ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Adding value to Prez Nik II’s agenda
THE RETIRED Nik loved grand gestures. When Odysseas demanded that the interior ministry hand him over 20 files relating to ‘the citizenship by buying a grossly overpriced house scheme,’ and was ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Still hogging the limelight – 100 days for PR president
OUR PREZ has completed his 100 days in office, which has dogmatically come to be considered as some kind of grace period, for a newly elected prez. It is a period ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Political rejuvenation enters the age of recycling
THE POLITICAL renewal that Prez Nik II promised in the election campaign was put into practice, not for the first time, with the return to action of retired ambassador and ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Still striving to be an A-list international problem
ANGELA MERKEL was declared possible candidate for the role of special envoy of the EU by all the Cyprus and Greece news websites, after Prez Nik II’s visit to ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Junior finds a new idol to worship
LAST Sunday’s Diko conference turned into a love-in, party leader Junior exercising zero restraint in his public adulation of his new political idol – Prez Nik II.
“If you did ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: President offers buffet for the cannibals
I COULD not resist the temptation to engage in a little bit of cannibalism, having not had the opportunity to do so when everyone was at it last week, prompting ...
Tales from the Coffeeshop: Cake for the parasites, crumbs for the rest
THE NEW general-secretary of Pasydy, the public parasites union, Stratis Mattheou seems a much nicer guy than his obnoxiously arrogant predecessor, Glafcos Hadjiklamouris, who believed he owned our Kyproulla and ...