By Loucas Charalambous
UPSET and sleepless over the news that US Vice President Joe Biden would be visiting Cyprus, our politicians rushed to show off their intelligence as soon as the visit was announced. And, as always, they validated the adage that stupidity can neither hide nor wait.
For years now, they have been ranting about the need to pressure Turkey to be more flexible so that a solution to the Cyprus problem could be found. For years now they have been shouting that the only country that could effectively apply this pressure was the United States. And this was because the US was the leader of the West and NATO; Turkey needed its support; it was the only country to which Ankara could not easily say ‘no’; it had the power to make Turkey behave differently and so on.
Recently America decided to answer these calls of our political wizards, and became more ‘dynamically’ involved in the Cyprus problem, just as we had been demanding for the last four decades. Logically, one would have thought that this development would have made our politicians dance with joy but instead – with the exception of DISY – they went wild.
Wildest of all was Tassos Papadopoulos’ flesh and blood, Nicholas. “The government is celebrating because the American Vice President will visit the occupied area. We ought to ask: Who stands to gain the most from Mr Biden’s visit, us or the pseudo-state that will be upgraded?” he commented.
This is our big concern – the “upgrading of the pseudo-state” – and not how the hell we are going to solve our problem. Forty years after the invasion and Papadopoulos has not yet realised that the pseudo-state is not conclusively a pseudo-state. The half of Cyprus north of the dividing line has become a small, second Turkey. But Nicholas is terrified at the prospect of the “upgrading of the pseudo-state” in the event that Biden meets Dervis Eroglu. Please, give us a break.
Our other political infants are also worried about the visit. AKEL chief Andros Kyprianou expressed surprise because Biden’s visit was taking place a few days before the Euro-elections and was waiting to see “how he would operate on his arrival to Cyprus”. I can assure Kyprianou, Biden will not be attending any DISY election gatherings.
House president and EDEK leader Yiannakis Omirou was in a quandary because he wants the involvement of the Americans but not “in a monopolistic way”. He does not approve of “exclusive handling” by the US and wants all permanent members of the UN Security Council involved.
According to 2014 data, the five permanent members have a total population of 1.935 billion. The assumption is that these almost two billion people have nothing better to do other than to try collectively to solve the problem of 700,000 crazy Cypriots. I suspect that not even one million of all these people are even aware of Cyprus’ existence.
Finally, the perennially distrustful Giorgos Lillikas had to suspect the existence of traps and conspiracies behind Biden’s visit. He wondered therefore, “whether secret agreements have been made behind-the-scenes and everything happening is part of a well-orchestrated game to persuade society to accept a new Annan plan.”
The astute Lillikas has not figured out yet that the Annan plan has ceased to exist and will not be coming back to life. Thanks to the resounding ‘no’ he and many others uttered in 2004, we have lost for good many of the things that were offered back then, even though Lillikas, 10 years on, is looking for a better settlement.
I will repeat it, even though I know I am becoming tiresome: with politicians like these governing us, we should be thanking the Lord that we still control half of Cyprus.
I just wonder how, with the many real problems faced by the rest of the seven billion people on this earth, the vice president of the US can find nothing more serious to give his attention to than 700,000 crazy Cypriots.