Helping cancer patients ‘to live the dream’

Going through cancer is devastating, but a Paphos-based charity offers a welcome distraction

When I first met Andrew Lauder, I didn’t know what to expect. He simply sounds too good to be true.

Founder of Care Days, an organisation that offers a free day of pampering to anyone (or any family member of someone) diagnosed with or bereaved by cancer, Lauder makes a promise that seems almost unbelievable. A programme which already offers 300 free experiences a year, Care Days is now expanding to Care Day Dreams, “making more dreams come true for more cancer patients”, the website boasts.

Paphos-based Care Days already offers six set experiences, which Lauder, his partner Jenny Sweetlove, and his website designer Charlotte Hadjikyriacou are able to offer free of charge. They get company sponsorships for pampering experiences – which range from free spa days to free hair treatments to free luxury breakfasts – and where there is a financial shortfall, they pay out of pocket.

But the really good news is that the related scheme – Care Days Dreams – is even more generous. While only ten are offered each year, they are special in that they allow terminal patients a more diverse set of experiences – some of which include travel outside of or to Cyprus should a patient want a last visit with international family members.

To make Care Day Dreams a reality, Lauder excitedly explained the new and generous sponsorship of the Winkle Club, whose UK members agreed to help make patients’ larger dreams real.

“I was sceptical at first. I couldn’t risk Care Days. It is too important to me, but when their generosity made it all a reality, I couldn’t believe it,” Lauder said.

A recent beneficiary of Care Days Dreams was 84-year-old cancer patient Tony Didlick from Paphos, who dreamt of playing another round of golf with his son Nick, living in the UK. The organisation made it possible.

“Every shot, every putt recorded to memory. Our son said it was as if his own dream had come true – not just the golf but spending time with his Dad and being able to help him emotionally and practically at close range,” Tony said of his trip.

Several years ago, Lauder was, himself, diagnosed with cancer. After 12 months of immunotherapy, he is now in remission and has made it his rest-of-life-goal to bring generosity and kindness to other patients in a way he, himself, felt he witnessed during his treatment.

“My oncology nurse, Paola Toniolo, who had become one of my closest friends, came to me in tears one day. I asked what was the matter? She said, ‘The man over there is 33; he has two children; his wife is pregnant, and he will die before he meets the third child.’ I don’t know why, but I just said ‘Look, go and tell him that here is my card, and when his wife is ready, tell her to ring me, and I can take her and the children out for a day. They can do whatever they like, and it won’t cost them a penny.’ That’s how I launched Care Days.”

When people ask him for the catch, Lauder told me he often feels frustrated because there is “no catch – just a huge amount of satisfaction”.

What makes the experience worthwhile for him is the feeling that he is helping others. “Everyone benefits,” he said. “There is absolutely no one who doesn’t benefit. Care Days is doing so much good. The testimonials alone just make it so worthwhile.”

Website designer Hadjikyriacou agreed: “I don’t think there is ever a time where this type of work feels like too much work because we are there to help others who need support. Four years ago, I divorced, and I had very limited support during that time.

“I keep myself busy helping others. I know how important that is because I myself needed help in the past. I have three children and three part time jobs. This job is my fourth work commitment, but I believe this work is so important.”

When I asked if Lauder thinks Care Days would exist if he, himself, had not come into such close contact with cancer, he shakes his head, tearing up. Sweetlove echoed the sentiment: “I lost three people in a row: my sister, my husband from lung cancer, and fifteen months later, my daughter died. So really, I can feel for all of these people. People come to our house, and they keep in touch with us – the people that we help. I can listen to them and understand.”

Generous in crediting others, Lauder, Hadjikyriacou, and Sweetlove repeated again and again how thankful they are for all of those who have made their efforts possible – the Pafos Press and the Viva FM Radio for their advertisements, the oncologists and nurses who pass on Care Days and Care Days Dreams by word of mouth.

“Their hearts are in the right place,” said a nurse from the cancer organisation Pasykaf.

Those who have given Lauder’s organisation a try have been touched. Paolo Toniolo, Lauder’s oncology nurse, was herself diagnosed with cancer at an earlier point in her life. So that she could better understand the Care Days pampering that she and other nurses were describing to patients, Lauder allowed her to test three of the set Care Days experiences.

“I met Andrew during his treatment for his cancer,” she told me over the phone. “Such a nice person. Touched my heart. We became friends. I appreciate what he is doing with Care Days because going through cancer is something that devastates and destroys your life. I help by trying to hand out brochures and speak to patients about the programme.”

“Some people,” Toniolo acknowledged, “don’t want Care Days because they don’t want to accept that they have cancer. Sometimes, they don’t want people to know that they are sick.” She paused. “And yet, even if 1/10 people enjoy Care Days, it is still special. That one smiling face is still special.”

https://caredayscyprus.com/