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Opinion Tales from the Coffeeshop

Tales from the Coffeeshop: Beard of Morphou raises flag of Covid rebellion

Bishop Cartoon
By Stavros Mitidis

WE LIVE in depressing times when the only people resisting the growing restrictions placed on our liberties by the government are a couple of nutcase bishops and a few dozen loony conspiracy theorists, referred to by the media as Covid Deniers. The rest of the people seem to passively accept every new infringement on their liberty as a bonus, another level of protection against the virus with a fatality rate, in Kyproulla, of 0.1%.

Then there are the Branch Covidian fanatics that slam the government because its measures are not repressive enough. Why has the government not closed down the airports, why has it not imposed a proper lockdown like last March, at least until the vaccine arrives, why are people without a face mask not sentenced to imprisonment, why are offices still open, they moan, some even claiming that people will be dropping dead everywhere because of lax measures.

The flag of the rebellion was raised by the bespectacled, backward, Beard of Morphou, Chrysostomos, who you would not follow into the shade if you were suffering from sun stroke. This is the bishop who turned from dove to hawk, after being visited by an angel, and prophesises war and destruction to idiots that show up for his fiery sermons.

After the government announced its latest measures, including the closing of churches, the bishop declared his diocese a Covid-free zone in which all the churches will remain open to everyone, without any limits to the numbers of the faithful that want to attend the church service. All hope is lost when the anti-authority spirit has been taken over by a narrow-minded religious fanatic.


RESTAURANT and bar owners have also joined the passive resistance movement, but being businessmen, they are not prepared to openly defy the authorities like the bishop has done and increase their losses by having to pay hefty fines. Their resistance consists of the representative of their association moaning on radio and TV stations and hanging black banners outside their establishments.

They have been screwed big-time by the government’s measures. In Limassol and Paphos they were completely shut down for three weeks, while in the rest of the country they had to close at 7pm. During the festive season, when they were hoping to cover some of the losses they suffered, they have been ordered to shut down their establishments until December 31, because the government wants to restrict gatherings of people.

It does not matter that all the measures it has taken so far have failed spectacularly to stop the spread of the virus. It will never consider the possibility that the measures do not work, because it conveniently blames the members of the public for the failure – they are undisciplined, irresponsible, disobedient and refuse to take seriously the government’s project fear and incessant scaremongering by the media and celebrity epidemiologists. At least the shops have been allowed to stay open so that some money could be spent by the people still receiving a wage.


C Shop
By Stavros Mitidis

OPPOSITION parties were competing on Friday over who would express the most disgust about the failure of the European Council to impose sanctions on Turkey for its violations of the Cypriot EEZ and the decision to open Varosha.

“The EU is ‘stroking’ Turkish aggressiveness,” said Diko which was pretty lame compared to Solidarity’s assertion that “our imaginary allies once again were incapable of supporting the Principles and Values of the EU. Both blamed the government of Prez Nik for failing to stand up for the interests of Kyproulla. “The Cyprus Republic never demanded, never exploited its position as an EU member state, never sought the self-evident,” said Solidarity.

The prize for originality should go to the Alliance of Lillikas, which, as it always does, demanded an in-depth study of the situation. “The time has come to study in depth the alternative choices we have as the Cyprus Republic, as our European family is proving indifferent to its children.” Is Lillikas suggesting we should study, in depth of course, leaving the unloving European family?

I suspect the European family would happily give up its problem child for adoption, if we asked nicely, and will also offer us a very generous pay-off for leaving. Mother Russia will not only be waiting for us with open arms, it will also have the sanctions against Turkey ready for implementation.


REITRED AG Costas Clerides tried to offer a face-saving solution for his chum Odysseas this week, proposing a school playground arrangement to end Robespierre’s row with AG Giorgos Savvides. Clerides suggested that the government hands over all the files on the citizenship scheme that Odysseas wanted, in consultation with the investigative committee.

In exchange for this, Odysseas would “promise publicly that he will not draft an interim report on any of the cases until the investigative committee completes its work and issues it report.” He did not say whether there would be a public ceremony at which Odysseas will make his pledge, whether it would be televised and whether it would take place in the presence of a priest.

It seems a bit unorthodox for a constitutional dispute to be resolved by one of the parties making a promise in public.  And what happens if Odysseas subsequently decides that his holy crusade against corruption does not permit him to keep his promise?


THE BOARD of the state broadcaster, Rik, will follow the advice of the omniscient auditor-general and hire new legal advisors, it was reported. Rik had been using the services of the Chrysafinis and Polyviou law office for 64 years but has now decided to heed Robespierre’s advice and secure the services of another law firm. The most ridiculous aspect of this is that it will be obliged to invite tenders and presumably offer the contract to the lowest bidder. What happens if the firm offering the lowest price is not very good? Would Rik still have to hire it, so that it is not reprimanded by Odysseas for wasting the taxpayer’s money on competent legal counsel?


I READ in last Sunday’s Politis that foreign minister Nikos Christodoulides has been waging a long legal battle with the University of Cyprus to keep him on as a member of its faculty, even though this contravenes provisions of the constitution that bars a minister from hold any other position.

When he was appointed foreign minister, Christodoulides asked the university for unpaid leave, but his request was turned down because this would be a violation of the constitution. Legally speaking, the university should have terminated his employment but Christodoulides filed a suit against the decision not to grant him unpaid leave. He has also initiated efforts to change the provision of the constitution barring him from keeping his job at the university while serving as minister.

What is more interesting is that he actually secured the job at the university by legal means rather than by merit. His application had been turned down in 2009 so he sued the university for this decision and lost the case. He then appealed against the court decision and the supreme court ruled in his favour in 2018, by which time he was foreign minister.

And in a recent article he wrote, he had the nerve to refer to himself as an ‘academic’. He became an ‘academic’ by court decision, rather than through any academic work, and now he wants to change the constitution so he can have a public job to go to when he leaves the ministry. This ‘academic’s’ loyalty to the Cypriot taxpayer cannot be questioned by anyone.


FORMER super-patriotic deputy and accountant, Christos Rotsas, illustrated his racist tendencies last week when he censured the media for not reporting that the mother, who had left her three underaged children unattended at home, in order to go to work, was foreign. By failing to say the mother was foreign, he wrote on social media, “a ‘stain’ was left hanging over all Cypriot mothers.” Apart from potential liberator of Kyproulla, he can now add defender of the Cypriot mother to his CV.

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